This week we're sharing three extracts from Rhys Darby's new book, This Way to Spaceship. Here's the first on his slick dance moves. Tomorrow we'll bring you his tips for maintaining popular party status and on Wednesday you can read about the "Great Birthday Swindle".
"This is how I gotmy groove on at house parties ...
"I'd hear a cool song with a good beat emanating from the lounge. This would give me the perfect excuse to leave the boring political discussions that were happening in the kitchen. I would creep into the lounge light-footed like a panther, ready to strike the small group of young ladies who were sitting there secretly wanting to dance.
"Boom! There I was entering the room with my foot cadence already in perfect time to the beat. The eyes of the girls would already be on me as I shifted from a rhythmic walk to a dance that can only be described as a magical manifestation of movement. My arms and legs would all move independently of each other as if they each had a mind of their own. In my own mind each limb was a sultry serpent displaying its own provocative mating ritual. The hands and fingers and even the feet were beckoning the girls to get up and join in.
"This may sound weird or even creepy - but it worked. Within twenty minutes the ladies of the room would be up and dancing alongside me. Some, to be fair, were standing quite a distance from me, but hey, I'd started the trend.
"I was 'the dancing guy', and this was my thing. That and the tatty clothing. I had various different dancing styles, depending on the music. This, I must stress to any of you potential groovers out there, is necessary. You can't get away with having just the one dance move. It may look good at the start, but after a while you'll be labelled a one-trick pony dancer.
"I tried to move in many different ways. Of course, I did the classics - the side-to-side, the Elvis, the twist, the shuffle and the robot. But I also pulled out real old-school moves like the 1920s Charleston. It was important not to get trapped in any particular era.
"Not only did I time travel across time and space with my dancing but I invented new moves along the way. Moves like Feed the Chicken, Paper Delivery Boy and Bond Ski Chase. This one came complete with sound effects - which no one could hear over the loud music of the nightclub.
"Sometimes I wished the music could be turned down or even off so I could dance freestyle, dance to the music that was in my head."
Reproduced from This Way to Spaceship with permission from Hachette NZ, RRP $39.99.
Here's Rhys Darby talking about his new book:
Life & Style Editor, Nicky Park, will be chatting to Rhys Darby next month. If you've got a question for the Kiwi comedian send us an email.
Rhys Darby will be touring NZ as part of the NZ International Comedy Festival, he'll also be appearing in bookstores for signing sessions and speaking at the Auckland Writers & Readers Festival. For full details of where to see him click here.
