KEY POINTS:
The Writer: It's a flat white, isn't it?
The Lady Editor: Yes. Well, now you come to mention it, it's a double-decaf soy latte trim flat white. No sugar thank you.
TW: Don't wish to be rude, but have you considered just walking down Ponsonby Rd and smelling the aroma and getting your kick that way?
TLE: Hush your mouth. Just be grateful the Viva budget extends to two cups of coffee and the pleasure of my company. Now, what has happened in restaurants in Auckland this year? I would have to say, you've given far more 5-stars than ever and unless my invoices deceive me, you haven't even been to the French Cafe yet.
TW: Culinary fads, fancies and fashions with gusto and, as is often the case, neuroticism. Ingredients are seasonal and occasionally organic. Chicken is free-range, but who'd be seen dead ordering chook at Soul or Cibo? Coffee is ethically traded. Everything else is low-carb, low-GI, vegetarian-friendly, allergy-friendly, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, light, healthy and great for your sex life.
TLE: Really?
TW: No. I made that last one up.
TLE: Perhaps we could get back to the subject. If you had to sum up the year in one word that word would be?
TW: Openings. Can't believe how many restaurants have opened this year, and so many of them at the top end. Don't believe we've had this number of new eateries since ... you know, that yacht-race thing. Viaduct. America's Cup.
TLE: Was that why they wanted to build that new floatie stadium on the waterfront? I thought that was a lovely idea. Boats. Sails. Andrea Bocelli. My Jimmy Choos would go so nicely with ...
TW: Darling, you don't race yachts around a stadium. Seriously, all the major hotels and their restaurants had makeovers. Partingtons at the Langham, Atlantis at the Metropolis, Knights and Kabuki at the Stamford Plaza, Mollie's. 'Fraid that virtually all of them got it wrong. Partingtons spent vast amounts of money, got atrocious reviews and dumped the chef before he had a chance to change his apron. New man in there now. Atlantis hired one of the legends of Kiwi gastronomy and didn't listen to him. Think I fell asleep before the main. And the winner is ...
TLE: Oh dear. Do you have any idea how hackneyed that sounds?
TW: Mollie's.
TLE: Moving right along. Real restaurants?
TW: Bracu: link to review is attached to this page, Jervois: it should be honoured for the best steaks in Auckland rather than the first $100 main in Aotearoa. Clooney: just what the gossip columnists needed, and the food ain't bad either. Blowfish: imagine, of all the people, Julian Lennon opening a branch of his franchise when Bono was in town and had a night off from worrying about how the poor Africans would be fed. Bellota: Peter Gordon decides that rustic peasant bar-food is the culinary way forward. Am I having trouble with some concepts here?
TLE: No, you're just feeling jaded after eight years of this.
TW: Bollocks. Well, bollocks just gently braised in a decent white with some nurturing herbs and served on a bed of ... No, I'm not jaded. This has been one of the most exciting years for eating out in Auckland.
TLE: That would be because you've dined with Jude and Emma and Bridget and ...
TW: God bless 'em, every one. No; I think the attention to detail has improved across the board, and there are some great new places off the main drags. Natalia Schamroth's Engine Room, far better entertainment than many movies at the Bridgeway; Steve Thompson's Verbena and 8.2 at Birkenhead - the Shore lifted its game quite remarkably. Tony Adcock's Tabou, replacing Fish in Kingsland; Luke Dallow's Agatha Christie-like parlour at Garnet, especially when Rod MacKinnon is strumming Dylan of a Tuesday night. Regrets? I've had more than Edith Piaf. Wish Nuffield St, indeed Newmarket, had more than Marco's tagines. It's the most disappointing suburb for food in the city, with the possible exception of Mt Roskill.
TLE: Where?
TW: Never mind.
TLE: And next year?
TW: More exotic cuisines. The first upmarket Nepalese restaurant is opening in Parnell. Are you doing anything tonight?
