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Home / Lifestyle

Restaurant review: The Collins, Greenhithe

Herald on Sunday
15 Nov, 2014 11:55 PM5 mins to read

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Greenhithe's The Collins offers mainly small plates served in a handsome restored villa. Photo / Getty Images

Greenhithe's The Collins offers mainly small plates served in a handsome restored villa. Photo / Getty Images

The Collins
20 Greenhithe Rd, Greenhithe
Ph: (09) 413 9322
thecollins.co.nz

It's not easy keeping up with all the restaurants opening around town these days. In my attempts to do so, I rely on a handful of dining-out websites that report on new and upcoming openings.

The most thorough of them offers the incidental pleasure of prose so hilariously mangled that it may be tongue-in-cheek. A "culinary realm" here; some "gastronomic leanings" there. Greenhithe is distinguished by its "proximate verdancy"; never mind that if you live in Howick, its verdancy is not very proximate at all.

The Collins is the latest occupant of Collins House, a handsomely restored 1912 villa (which that website calls "a weather beaten old bungalow"). The new owners, veterans of Birkenhead establishments Stafford Road Wine Bar and Bungalo, appear to have lavished a substantial amount of dough on the place, so they probably don't think much of the "weatherbeaten" tag.

The wood-look false floor is pretty ghastly (noisy, too) and the ethanol-powered fire with not even a false log in sight makes for zero atmosphere, although perhaps it was required by insurers. Still, the chairs are lovely and the large decks will doubtless be packed as the days continue to lengthen.

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In short, it's a nice neighbourhood watering hole but whether it merits a trip (from anywhere other than the most proximate parts of the North and the West) is somewhat less certain. I don't know what inference you would draw from the fact that about 80 per cent of the menu lists drinks, but I think it suggests a place that is not seeking to be a dining destination.

So does the food. By that I don't mean that it isn't any good - some of it is very nice indeed - but it's all small plates.

I know I'm not the only one who has had a gutsful of the small plates rort, but I don't mind if restaurants continue with them; I just wish they would have a handful of choices for people who want to have dinner, rather than a toothpick duel over high-quality and high-priced bar snacks.

It's not really toothpicks: they give you cutlery, but every time I laid my fork down, the eccentrically shaped plate sent it shooting onto my lap, which rather annoyed me since I was wearing my good trousers.

Of the four plates we tried from a selection of 10, only the duck croquettes really deserve the bar-food appellation: they came garnished with an assertive chilli jam and a dab of pickled cabbage but they wanted for a sauce - the duck stuffing was plain and slightly dry. Also, there were five of them and two of us: why restaurants who serve tapas-style dishes can't offer diners a mathematically convenient upsizing is a mystery to me.

A dish with the rather distasteful name Forest Floor was the evening's conspicuous failure: mushrooms sauteed with thyme were fine, but the addition of fresh mozzarella was a bad idea. The subtle tastes of the two ingredients demand to be enjoyed alone and the addition of vincotto, a thick, reduced balsamic, obliterated both anyway.

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Much better was a delightful Moroccan-inspired dish of grilled cauliflower: set on a bed of lemony hummus and lent zing by a hazelnut dukkah, it was a genuine original. Pork belly with a beetroot puree was excellently done, too, and we shared a inventive dessert, a fool with a base that looked like jelly but turned out to be rhubarb tapioca.

In all, then, this is pretty good food in a place that is more like a bar. If that's your thing, you'll probably be there soon - assuming you live proximately.

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Plates $7-$16.50; platters $37-$48; desserts $11-$12

Verdict: Upmarket bar food

Cheers

Awesome foursome

Polly, Maggie, Elyse and Glen from Auckland and Louise of Lower Hutt must be tickled pink (or should that be tickled pale lemon, in the case of the chardonnay?) to see their digital art on the new Stoneleigh Nature's Collection wines. Early this year, Kiwis were asked to capture their favourite nature scenes to feature on a sauvignon blanc (outstanding, by the way), chardonnay, rose and pinot noir. My pick of the foursome is the 2014 Stoneleigh Nature's Collection Marlborough Chardonnay, which is buttery and smooth from ageing in big old oak vats, $17.99.

Fresh off the Italian boat
2013 Masi Masianco Pinot Grigio & Verduzzo, $24.50

Italy is best known for its tradition but here's a tasty white slice of the country's innovation; a combo of popular pinot gris with the verduzzo grape adding fresh crisp acidity to this zesty white. It's new on the list at Gusto restaurant at SkyCity. Or buy from sapori.co.nz

Southern food 'n' wine fest
Heading south in December? If so, head to Hagley Park for the Christchurch South Island Wine & Food Festival on December 6. Yours truly is taking a seminar on chardonnay. See: winefestival.co.nz

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By Joelle Thomson,
joellethomson.co.nz

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