Saturday, 20 August 2022
Meet the JournalistsPremiumAucklandWellingtonCanterbury/South Island
CrimePoliticsHealthEducationEnvironment and ClimateNZ Herald FocusData journalismKāhu, Māori ContentPropertyWeather
Small BusinessOpinionPersonal FinanceEconomyBusiness TravelCapital Markets
Politics
Premium SportRugbyCricketRacingNetballBoxingLeagueFootballSuper RugbyAthleticsBasketballMotorsportTennisCyclingGolfAmerican SportsHockeyUFC
NZH Local FocusThe Northern AdvocateThe Northland AgeThe AucklanderWaikato HeraldBay of Plenty TimesHawke's Bay TodayRotorua Daily PostWhanganui ChronicleStratford PressManawatu GuardianKapiti NewsHorowhenua ChronicleTe Awamutu Courier
Covid-19
Te Rito
Te Rito
OneRoof PropertyCommercial Property
Open JusticeVideoPodcastsTechnologyWorldOpinion
SpyTVMoviesBooksMusicCultureSideswipeCompetitions
Fashion & BeautyFood & DrinkRoyalsRelationshipsWellbeingPets & AnimalsVivaCanvasEat WellCompetitionsRestaurants & Menus
New Zealand TravelAustralia TravelInternational Travel
Our Green FutureRuralOneRoof Property
Career AdviceCorporate News
Driven MotoringPhotos
SudokuCodecrackerCrosswordsWordsearchDaily quizzes
Classifieds
KaitaiaWhangareiDargavilleAucklandThamesTaurangaHamiltonWhakataneRotoruaTokoroaTe KuitiTaumarunuiTaupoGisborneNew PlymouthNapierHastingsDannevirkeWhanganuiPalmerston NorthLevinParaparaumuMastertonWellingtonMotuekaNelsonBlenheimWestportReeftonKaikouraGreymouthHokitikaChristchurchAshburtonTimaruWanakaOamaruQueenstownDunedinGoreInvercargill
NZ HeraldThe Northern AdvocateThe Northland AgeThe AucklanderWaikato HeraldBay Of Plenty TimesRotorua Daily PostHawke's Bay TodayWhanganui ChronicleThe Stratford PressManawatu GuardianKapiti NewsHorowhenua ChronicleTe Awamutu CourierVivaEat WellOneRoofDriven MotoringThe CountryPhoto SalesNZ Herald InsightsWatchMeGrabOneiHeart RadioRestaurant Hub

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.
Lifestyle

Rebecca Kamm: The app to help you pick up women

7 May, 2013 10:30 PM4 minutes to read
A new app has been released teaching men how to pick up ladies.Photo / Thinkstock

A new app has been released teaching men how to pick up ladies.Photo / Thinkstock

Herald online

The definition of cynical is an app designed to help the socially inept interact with women - by practicing "pick up artistry" on cartoon ladies. For $4.19 a pop.

Yes, pick up artistry. That tired old pseudo - and ethically dubious - science that reached its pinnacle when "legendary pick up artist" Neill Strauss wrote The Game, in which desperate men are told the secrets of Male Professional Seducers (known as MPUs). Lead by an indescribably unappealing and moronic MPU called Mystery, this "seduction community", as he calls it, claims there is no woman on earth you cannot seduce if you follow their sad techniques.

Like "negging", the unashamed act of belittling a woman so she'll feel vulnerable and therefore seek your approval. Or "peacocking", which is when you wear something that REALLY STANDS OUT AT THE BAR. One hapless forum poster on Mystery's website suggests "LED-anything, or a funky hat, or maybe a pimp coat, or something really off the wall". I actually can't think of anything right now that'd make me die inside more than a "funky hat". No lie.

Anyway, this new app. It's called Become a Pick Up Artist, and its stupid media release explains the premise:

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

Developed around pick-up artist extraordinaire Nick Savoy's legendary Love Systems method, players are cast as the unlucky in love "Luke" and learn how to attract and interact with gorgeous women by testing their dating skills against a virtual collection of flirty femmes.

Follow Luke's journey from average frustrated chump to charming casanova while learning the secrets of the world's greatest ladies' men to meet, interact, and form relationships in any social situation.

Cue: Oh ha ha HA - it's all just fun and games! Little cartoon ladies! Lighten up!

Yes, okay. But that's an easy argument to make. (I even just made it to myself at my desk with no one else around, to prove a point - that's how easy it is.) But here's the thing: women aren't cartoons, and they can't be "won" via one-size-fits-all rules and techniques. So anything that teaches boys otherwise, especially by promoting itself as an expert source, is rubbish.

Also, someone needs to tell wannabe MPUs once and for all that women can sense when you're using some agenda-fueled technique, whether it's from a lame manual or something you dreamed up yourself. And it's incredibly unattractive - probably more unattractive than they could possibly imagine.

As a woman, it makes you feel like you could be absolutely anyone, because there's no genuine interest in finding out who you actually are. Or, if there is some genuine interest, it's deeply hidden beneath layers of insecurity and Funky Hat.

Related articles

Lifestyle

Blog: Boyfriend rental service

14 Feb 09:00 PM
Lifestyle

Blog: Don't tell me to smile

12 Mar 11:00 PM
Lifestyle

Rebecca Kamm: Pretty women are like nice cars - editor

21 Mar 10:05 PM
Lifestyle

Rebecca Kamm: Sex ed for adults

18 Apr 10:00 PM

Most importantly though, every pick-up artistry book or app out there positions relations between ladies and men as adversarial, a state of affairs in which gaining the upper hand is how you "win" the shiny "prize". And that ensures everyone ends up the loser.

So, on behalf of my ladies, here is a FREE tip: Go for coffee and meet a person, and listen to her and let her speak, and don't try too hard to conceal the fact you're a shy, vulnerable bunch of nerves. She might even like you for it. It has been known to happen. The end.

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

P.S. Here is an ABC Nightline story on the douche-artist behind the app, Nick Savoy, and his business, Love Systems - whose motto is Hotter Women. More Options. Faster Than Ever. Please note Nick Savoy's hair, and consider briefly whether Funky Hat might be the better option? I'm taking votes... NOW.

Debate on this article is now closed.

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

'Stop her': Mortified wedding guest's mistake

19 Aug 06:48 AM
Lifestyle

Stunning reason woman in labour boots husband out of delivery room

19 Aug 01:18 AM
Lifestyle

Opinion: Why are young men so insecure about their looks?

19 Aug 01:00 AM
Lifestyle

Lead investigator recalls 'emotional' meeting after Diana's death

19 Aug 12:30 AM
Lifestyle

The coolest looks of the week, from Cynthia Erivo, Michael B. Jordan and more

19 Aug 12:00 AM

Most Popular

Ombudsman sends PM 'please explain' over Sharma allegations
New Zealand|Politics

Ombudsman sends PM 'please explain' over Sharma allegations

19 Aug 07:04 AM
Kawhia shooting: Mum haunted by frightening escape into darkness with children
New Zealand|Crime

Kawhia shooting: Mum haunted by frightening escape into darkness with children

19 Aug 04:04 AM
Premium
Cecilia Robinson rejoins My Food Bag board amid 'deeply disappointing' share price
Business

Cecilia Robinson rejoins My Food Bag board amid 'deeply disappointing' share price

19 Aug 05:32 AM

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.
About NZMEHelp & SupportContact UsSubscribe to NZ HeraldHouse Rules
Manage Your Print SubscriptionNZ Herald E-EditionAdvertise with NZMEBook Your AdPrivacy Policy
Terms of UseCompetition Terms & ConditionsSubscriptions Terms & Conditions
© Copyright 2022 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP