Could Rodney Hide be your potential, 'Unlikely Crush'? Photo / Rotorua Daily Post
Could Rodney Hide be your potential, 'Unlikely Crush'? Photo / Rotorua Daily Post
Opinion by
"There's a lid for every pot" is one of my favourite Yiddish sayings. (And take it from my grandmother, there are some pretty good ones.)
I just love the sentiment - that no matter how idiosyncratic / weird / 'unconventionally good looking' you are, there is someone outthere for you. Your lid (or pot) even loves your imperfections, because they are part of you, and you fit their pot (or lid). Hooray!
The best proof of the pot/lid theory is the existence of the Unlikely Crush (or 'UC'). That is, crushes on people everyone else would think you're weird for having a crush on.
This phenomenon is also known as the Ugly Crush, or Sexy-Ugly. (Except that's a bit mean - and they're not necessarily unattractive, just maybe your friends have really boring taste and what would they know anyway, they always go for such drongoes.)
My ultimate UC is Larry David, creator of iconic TV series Seinfeld and creator (and star) of later series, Curb Your Enthusiasm. This guy is bald, inappropriate and utterly ridiculous, but - somehow - he BRINGS the sexy. In the show, anyway. Which he wrote, so chances are when I meet him in real life and we date I will be just as enamoured and then babies, etc.
Still, Larry David is a pretty tame UC compared to some others out there. I did a social media call out which unearthed the following:
Humans:
* John Goodman from Roseanne ("Because he oozes charm. And I'd also want him to diet, which you only think about if you really like someone and they're on the morbidly obese side. Do you think John Goodman will read this and get upset because I said he was fat?")
* Mickey Havoc. ("Sort of wouldn't do him, but would snog.")
*Nick Offerman, from TV show Parks and Recreation. ("I like bears, plus his deep drawl is incredibly sexy. And the fact that he is a master woodworking craftsman IRL. Good with his hands, ifyouknowaddamean.")
* Comedic character Keith Lemon. ("Such a dirty filth bag!")
*Falkor, the dragon in The Never Ending Story. ("He looks like a massive magical flying dog. Obviously if he was human everyone would be in love with him.") Obviously.
* Kermit the Frog. ("Because his mouth goes all cute when miss piggy yells at him.")
* "Kim Possible is a stone cold fox. Spunky, witty, tight outfits, clever. And it's sweet how she lets the dude hang around even though she's just so much way cooler than him."
* Darth Vader ("I didn't know that was weird until I told a friend in my late teens.")
* And my favourite of all, from a grown up man: "Massively had a Care Bears crush 'till I was old enough to know better. They're just so brave and loving."
Takeaway ponderance: in an age where bored scientists use tiny face-rulers to measure and define our sex appeal, UCs give weight to the far more romantic notion that 'attraction' is actually quite indefinable, and transcends the physical. That the visceral, stomach-churning allure (ugh, sorry) that keeps humans around goes way beyond 'ideal' features and and hip-to-waist ratios.
It’s been an Onslow signature menu item since day one. Now, Josh Emett’s famous crayfish eclair has clawed its way into the Iconic Auckland Eats Top 100 list. Video / Alyse Wright
