Playing pool, as all people of the going-out persuasion know, is a truly excellent waste of time. It is the golf of the drinking classes, the only afterdinner game that makes sense, the most social of sports and one where practice does indeed make perfect.
Soconsidering this PlayStation version of the game, the first big question is: why?
We like other games for the virtual thrills, the fan wish-fulfilment, a slice of the unobtainable experience.
But PlayStation pool?
It just has a bigger whiff of stay-at-slobbery.
It doesn't help that its delivery isn't that crash-hot, either.
Not only does the cue-control system prove frustrating and erratic, the little touches to liven up the scenarios (the cosmopolitan bunch of opponents with the silly names, the awful music) are equally off-putting.
Graphically it's worryingly mediocre considering the supposedly simple set-up of table, cue and balls.
The depth of field when you're aiming towards a far pocket is eye-straining and most of the games take place in conditions where you wish they'd turn a light on.
It's not the first cue game on the market but it's certainly no improvement on its predecessors. And too long spent in its fiddly, clunky company actually risks your real pool game getting worse.
Premier Manager 99
*
PlayStation
Gremlin
Here's the soccer game that takes the soccer out. You get to play manager of a real English or Italian team of your choice, buying and selling players, negotiating sponsorship deals, adjusting team tactics, upgrading your facilities.
And having done your best stringpulling, you get to watch in helplessly as your very own Scunthorpe United repeatedly go down 4-0 at home.
No, it's not a lot of fun, being that it's all tables to read and offers to make and bank accounts to keep an eye on.
