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What a busy life Bono must lead in between concerts and campaigns. We ponder the contents of the star's diary for this week…
Sunday 19
We fly to Auckland from Sydney: need to get acclimatised to cold after Aust. Not looking forward to Ak shows, they want bloody sameoldsong but don't even have a tree on that hill. So it makes no sense. No matter, it's just the sameoldsame show anyway. Might use Barry for these ones instead, he's a good likeness.
On way over The Edge, Adam and the drummer say they want to start making public statements. Told Adam no one cares bout jetski safety. Edge not sure what he wants to speak about, just thinks might be interesting if he says something. Well, maybe.
Left gloves in Melbourne, have sent some NZ-telly-guy (Homes??) in his plane to pick them up. Not the best pilot apparently, but they're not very good gloves.
Got to sort out this Make Poverty History thing on Friday at a church in Ak. The missus says I should say something inspirational. But don't I always? Had Denise note down key points from Geldof and Gandhi to drop into conversation. Artwork for new album due.
Monday 20
being tailed by young woman who sits in hotel lobby all day'n'night. Probably gossip writer Jagger warned me about. I'll get Barry to talk to her and fill her with the blarney. Sending him into the street again tomorrow. Good publicity and people think I'm accessible. Means the missus and I get time together, and am expecting Pope Benny's call. Must put him straight on this contraception thing.
Boring here so bought the big empty island I can see in Ak harbour. Funny looking man called The Mare asked me to endorse his new stadium floating on harbour. I'll walk out to it and have a look later.
Cover art for Winning World Peace arrived. The Edge, Adam and the drummer unhappy. Have to fly back to Sydney tomorrow for private meeting with John Howard. Barry's a good mime so Ak shows will be okay. Band know I'm too busy for concerts, and there are royalties from Japanese iPod company to check. Don't want to have to get Luigi and Big Danny to go up and explain Irish accountancy to the Japanese, but if that's what it takes ...
Tuesday 21
Back in Sydney. We're having the plants on that Auckland island changed. More yellow needed. Benny finally called. Late December we'll make the announcement at the Vatican. We'll buy palazzo near Papal Apartments just to get used to the place.
Was working on big anti-hunger campaign when Kofi rang and asked about doing a Christmas lunch with Bill and Hillary. Catering by Remi of Paris. Should be good nosh, he does terrific truffles and foie gras. Love irony.
Boys called. Great rehearsal today apparently. Barry read my script about poverty well. Jagger phoned to ask about forming tax haven on island I've bought. Told him about Barry chatting up gossip scribbler. He said it wasn't him she'd got in Auckland either, he'd used his stand-in too. Looks like only Robbie Williams got nailed in NZ. Bloody amateur.
Wednesday 24
The Edge, Adam and the drummer rang, still angry about album cover but explained why I should be bigger than them on front. Drummer seriously annoyed though. He could be trouble. Again.
Late afternoon during conference call with PLO leaders. Band called again and said they wanted Barry to do all gigs from now on. Hmmm.
The missus and I going home tomorrow through the States. She says we could buy Maryland and have it carpeted with some Fair Trade products. That'll help the Gambian weavers.
The Edge, Adam and the drummer go to Japan on Sunday after Ak shows. If things go too well with Barry however I might have to talk to Luigi and Big Danny ...
