Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern quits: ‘What’s really most important’ - Ardern reflects on 2022 and family time with Clarke Gayford and Neve

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today resigned as New Zealand’s leader. In this December interview with Woman’s Weekly, she reflects on the importance of family and the challenges of being PM as she looks to the future.

It would be easy to describe Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern as being tired, worn out and in need of a rest. She has, after all, led New Zealand through the horrific Christchurch terror attack, the fatal White Island eruption and three gruelling years of the Covid pandemic.

It’s all about family

But when the Weekly arrives on a Wednesday morning, our Prime Minister seems fresh and eager to get into her day. Top of mind is her dad Ross Ardern and his recent cancer treatment.

“Dad had cancer last year, so that’s been a bit hard. Mum had breast cancer years ago and is fully recovered, but things like that hang over you a bit,” she says looking out the window, like any other daughter worried about her parents.

She shares Ross’ recovery has been good, but the aftermath of surgery to his kidney has left him with a surgical hernia.

“That’s limiting for him and how active he can be,” she tells. “Which is not great because he’s always on the go. He’s more active than I am, much to my shame. In summertime, when everyone else is blobbing out, he’ll be off for his daily constitutional.”

Jacinda says like anyone who has illness in their family, it puts everything in perspective. “We’re a very tight-knit family and that was certainly the case for our family recently,” she says. “It just reminds you what’s really most important and that’s to spend as much quality time together as you can. That’s the enduring lesson for me.”

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern with daughter Neve. Photo / Getty Images

Covid and conspiracy theories

Jacinda’s sitting in her electorate office in Auckland’s Mt Albert, behind a window which just days earlier had been attacked with a sword and had a smoke bomb thrown through it. At the time, she was 5000km away, visiting Antarctica to mark the 65th anniversary of Scott Base, and the office was empty. But there’s no doubt that negative sentiment towards the government has increased and the act was one of many outbursts her electoral staff has dealt with.

“We know that Covid amplified those sentiments a lot,” tells Jacinda. “I was at a conference yesterday on national security, and there was a really interesting presentation that demonstrated the spike in conspiracy theories during the January and February period this year. I came away from that just so desperate for people to have information they can trust because it can be so harmful when they don’t have that access.”

It’s true Jacinda is dealing with more new issues as our prime minister than those who went before her had to face and that when it comes to her personal life, it’s a fine balance being a partner, mother, daughter and friend, as well as running the country.

The one time she can get away for complete rest is Christmas. That’s the only time of the year when she isn’t required to be 100 percent in leadership mode.

“It’s the only proper leave I get throughout the year because even if I take some time off, there are always papers and bags and phone calls to take, but Christmas is the one time of the year when the paperwork stops for a few weeks.”

But this Christmas will be very different for a number of reasons.

Last Christmas

“The one thing that will be the same for everyone is this will be the first Christmas and summer holiday in three years where we haven’t had Covid hanging over us,” she says. “We had a couple of Christmases there where we managed to stay relatively open and operating, but it was still there in the back of everyone’s mind – would there be disruption?”

She explains that last summer, even when we were operating a bit differently, there was Omicron in the background.

“We were waiting for the looming entry and we had epidemiologists telling us the date they thought it would arrive, and that just creates anxiety for people, so this will be the first in ages where I hope people feel that lift from it a bit.”

Photo : Michael Rooke. Hair: Lucy Vincent. Make-up: Darren Meredith. Styling: Sonia Greenslade. Jacinda wears Koko, Loobie’s Story, Meadowlark at Smith & Caughey’s, Pearl, Zoe & Morgan.

Holiday plans

When it comes to Jacinda’s family plans, she says they will be staying home. “One of the things that Covid really showed me was how much I enjoy having summer in New Zealand,” she enthuses.

“I had the mindset that to have a break, I’d need to leave the country, so I’d pop over to Australia for a bit, but obviously with Covid, that wasn’t an option. What that taught me was that I can have a great holiday with family here and it feels like a real holiday, so we’re staying home.”

With daughter Neve, who she shares with partner Clarke Gayford, turning five next year, this will be her fourth Christmas and perhaps a chance to create some special family traditions for her.

Christmas traditions

“Clarke and I are still trying to form some traditions for our own little family, but we haven’t dragged her to sit on Santa’s knee yet because I’ve watched my friends do that and how traumatising it can be for the child!” she laughs. “There’s a bit of a battle between us as we try to impose our own family traditions. One big one for me is about what the nature of Santa’s gifts should be.

“In my childhood, Santa gave you the stocking because Mum and Dad obviously wanted to get the credit for the big presents, so I always thought Santa was a bit useless because he would give me an orange and some stationery. Clarke and I have had some huge discussions around that.”

One highlight Jacinda will be introducing Neve to this year is the famous snowballs she makes with her sister Louise. They mix malt biscuits, butter and condensed milk with cocoa and coconut, then roll them in marshmallow. It sounds like just the sort of sticky, messy kitchen activity a four-year-old would love.

“It will be all about being in the kitchen, and cooking with Neve and the family.”

When it comes to gifts, both Clarke and Jacinda’s families do a Secret Santa – without the secret!

“All the adults buy one present for someone they have drawn out of a hat. It’s great knowing who you are buying for because you have time to ask others what they’d like and workshop it a bit.”

Festive fishing

When it comes to the family’s holiday, Jacinda says Fish of the Day TV host Clarke’s told her he’ll be out on the water in the morning and then Jacinda can have some time in the afternoon.

“I’m more like we should do some family stuff all day!”

Eventually, the trio will all go fishing together, but at the moment, Neve is a bit young to be on a boat for long periods of time.

“I actually really enjoy fishing and so does Neve. She’s put in a plug for a fishing rod for Christmas much to Clarke’s delight, but that will change. It’ll be some mermaid doll next week.”

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern met Prince William at Kensington Palace. Photo / Supplied

The Royals

Another reason Jacinda’s happy to stay home these holidays is because she’s done a lot of travelling this year, including London for the funeral of Queen Elizabeth.

“It was such a contrast,” says Jacinda. “On the one hand it’s an extraordinary event with so much tradition and ceremony. But at the same time, there’s still elements of it that just remind you that it’s a member of a family that will be mourned as a great-grandmother, a grandmother and a mother. And we were privileged enough to have snippets of that.”

Jacinda and Clarke were invited to the function following the interment of Queen Elizabeth at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle. She tells, “It was actually quite a small and intimate gathering, and so we got that insight and felt very humbled to be part of it.”

When Jacinda talks about the royal family, it’s clear she has a very close relationship with the Prince and Princess of Wales, William and Kate.

“We spent time with them in the days before the funeral and we were lucky enough to have had enough interaction with them that we weren’t starting from scratch,” she says.

Following the Christchurch mosque terrorist attacks on March 15, 2019, Prince William came to Aotearoa and they spent quite a lot of time together.

“He shares Neve’s birthday on June 21 and I know him to be a very genuine person who has a genuine love for New Zealand.”

While Jacinda was at the funeral, she was asked by William to deputise in his place at the Earthshot Prize innovation summit, a sideline event at the United Nations General Assembly meeting of world leaders in New York. Jacinda was happy to help at a difficult time and says she respects the prince’s dedication to his duties.

“Any day I’m feeling like this job is tough, I look at him – that is a life of service, not three-year cycles. It’s amazing what they do.”

So where does Jacinda see herself in eight years’ time, at the age of 50?

“The only thing I think consistently about is just being a mum and how I make sure that I’m there when Neve is in her teens. When they say they don’t need you, but they do. I think about that and how I can make sure that I’m there.”

By Wendyl Nissen

For more parenting news and advice, listen to One Day You’ll Thank Me, the Herald’s parenting podcast