KEY POINTS:
To move or not to move, that is the question.
We've all been there. You're in a relationship, things are going well. You spend every night together so surely it makes sense to move in together. Right?
Well, maybe . . . for some people.
I went through this process
about a year ago and decided, "Yeah, it makes sense".
The fact that I am now writing a singles column would suggest it was not the smartest move.
A friend, Jessica, is in a similar predicament. She has only been with her boyfriend a few months and he wants her to move in. She is hesitant.
After all, she saw what a nightmare it was for me when I moved house three times in six months thanks to a failed relationship. A relationship that by all counts might have survived had we not been so hasty to share living quarters.
Our downfall, however, was brought on by a combination of factors. The major one being I moved into his house with established flat mates and became the only girl in an all male flat.
To say they resented the change would be an understatement of dramatic proportions.
I never felt welcome in the house and often felt I had no home.
Why didn't we just move? The boyfriend's parents owned the house so he didn't want to give up the lease.
And he didn't feel comfortable kicking the flatties out. So it quickly became a stalemate.
The second part of our downfall was the motivation behind the move.
The truth is, I was never really comfortable with the idea, but we were planning a trip to Thailand and I was under pressure to save money.
Despite my reservations, the financial motivation got the better of me.
Various people I have spoken to have pointed out other pitfalls of moving in together
A recurring theme was quality time; When you don't live together, you make an effort to see one another. You set aside specific time.
Once you move in, it's easy to take one another for granted. Everything else ends up coming before you, because you're already there.
I often found myself complaining that I only got the boy's "leftover" time - when he was hungover from a night out with the boys or injured after rugby.
It may require less effort to see each other when you live together but you still need to make some effort. A fact that is lost on many people.
Still, just because something didn't work for me, doesn't mean it won't work for others.
Indeed, there are lots of happy couples enjoying shared domestic bliss.
But think twice before taking the plunge and perhaps hold off a while.
At four months on, I would say Jessica is still in the honeymoon period.
Besides, if you really think the relationship is going to last forever, what's the rush?