NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Parenting teenagers: How to manage conflict in the digital era

By Wendy Ellis and Lynda Hutchinson - The Conversation
Other·
1 Aug, 2024 12:44 AM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Many parents struggle with concerns about their teens’ screen time and digital safety. Photo / 123RF

Many parents struggle with concerns about their teens’ screen time and digital safety. Photo / 123RF

Many parents might be concerned about the time their teens spend online. However, modelling healthy online behaviours and habits can set an example kids can follow.

Teenagers’ needs for independence and privacy increase dramatically during adolescence. Today, many parents struggle with concerns about their teens’ screen time and digital safety, and for good reason. There is widespread opinion that technology and social media use is harmful for young people.

However, as many parents will know, getting teens to reduce their screen time is often far easier said than done. Conflict often results when parents voice their concerns and institute their authority over teens.

Our research team has been examining the role of the family and technology in adolescent development over the last 20 years.

Our research with Canadian parents and youth has indicated that 85% of parents say that conflict with their teens over technology use negatively impacts the whole family.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Teens are likely to shut down or hide their activities from family members. We found that 70% of teens admitted to keeping secrets about their online behaviour.

This cycle of family conflict and teen secrecy plays out in households around the country and parents are unsure about how to protect teens from online harms and maintain open family communication.

Research found that parents who spend more time online have teens who spend more time online. Photo /  123RF
Research found that parents who spend more time online have teens who spend more time online. Photo / 123RF

Teen tech use

Almost 95% of adolescents have smartphone access, and about 50% of teens say they use the internet “almost constantly.” During the early teen years, when the brain is going through rapid transformations, children seek more freedom, belongingness with peers and self-discovery, and they tend to take more risks.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Unlike any generation before, 21st-century teens may be trying to fulfil these developmental needs using technology. This was especially true during the pandemic, when Canadian teens were forced to connect to others online, with both positive and negative consequences for wellbeing. To date, we do not fully understand how pandemic restrictions have impacted teens. We also do not know how technology affects teens in the long term.

However, some experts have warned that everyday technology use and screen time alone does not indicate a teen is experiencing dysfunction.

Instead, specific behaviours and motivations for teens’ technology and social media use, including cyberbullying or problematic and deceptive uses, may provide a better understanding of negative consequences.

Research has found that parents’ and teens’ online behaviour patterns are similar to one another.

Discover more

Lifestyle

How chores can help boost your child's confidence

24 Jul 02:00 AM
Lifestyle

Parenting advice: How do I get my husband to understand our baby isn’t ‘crying for attention’?

05 Jul 02:05 AM
Lifestyle

Are Aussies or Kiwis better parents?

29 Feb 01:13 AM
Lifestyle

Top expert decries 'increasingly judgmental' modern-day parenting fuelled by social media

23 Feb 04:00 PM

In our research, presented at the 2024 Canadian Psychological Association in Ottawa, we found parents who spend more time online have teens who spend more time online.

Parents who reported experiencing addictive online behaviours had teens who also reported similar levels of addictive online behaviours. Teens who reported more pressure to gain likes and followers had parents who reported similar levels of social media pressure.

This indicates that online behaviour may be modelled intergenerationally. Parents model online behaviour that their teens are likely to emulate, and vice versa.

It also means that if parents are more aware of their own technology and social media use, they can model balanced online and offline engagement.

Teens who spend a long time scrolling through social media might engage in negative social comparisons that can lead to insecurity. Photo / 123RF
Teens who spend a long time scrolling through social media might engage in negative social comparisons that can lead to insecurity. Photo / 123RF

What can parents do?

Parents have been given many recommendations to help their teens. At present, there is mixed support that any specific parental practices can mitigate problematic technology use during adolescence.

However, cultivating family warmth, cohesion and communication helps teens manage their social media and technology use. Our research shows that high levels of parent-child communication, strong parent-child relationships and self-regulation corresponded with lower levels of problematic social media use and less secrecy between parents and teens.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

To support teens’ autonomy, families that foster open dialogues about online activities, and establish trust and rules about social technology, are likely to alter the negative impacts on teens.

Together, parents and teens could discuss their perspectives on this topic. Here are some questions to ask yourself and your teens about their behaviour and move beyond simply checking in on screen time:

How do I/my teen spend time online?

Genuine and positive interactions with others online can be beneficial for well-being. However, teens who spend long periods of time scrolling through social media might engage in negative social comparisons or enact false self-presentations that can lead to insecurity.

What am I/my teen doing online?

Spending time online to maintain close relationships and inspire creativity (in person or digitally) appear to be adaptive motives for engaging with social technology. But motivations to engage with it stemming from anxiety, fear of missing out, or addiction tend to be maladaptive. Motives to increase perceived social status and seek attention can also be harmful.

Who am I/my teen spending time online with?

Are you or your teen spending time online alone, with friends or strangers? Are you watching content together? While spending time online together can be fun and a great conversation starter, co-using media may also be associated with problematic use, possibly by encouraging more time online.

Reflecting on our own technology use as parents, and encouraging our teens to do the same, can enhance self-regulation, communication and cohesion within the family and, in turn, increase digital wellbeing.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
World

'Can't assume it's harmless': Experts warn on marijuana's heart risks

20 Jun 03:20 AM
Lifestyle

Study: Sleeping over 9 hours raises death risk by 34%

20 Jun 12:57 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

5 keys to a healthy diet, according to nutrition experts

20 Jun 12:00 AM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
'Can't assume it's harmless': Experts warn on marijuana's heart risks

'Can't assume it's harmless': Experts warn on marijuana's heart risks

20 Jun 03:20 AM

The average age of patients in the study was just 38, highlighting risks for younger adults.

Study: Sleeping over 9 hours raises death risk by 34%

Study: Sleeping over 9 hours raises death risk by 34%

20 Jun 12:57 AM
Premium
5 keys to a healthy diet, according to nutrition experts

5 keys to a healthy diet, according to nutrition experts

20 Jun 12:00 AM
Beer, tonics, sauces: Why is does Japanese citrus yuzu seem to be everywhere right now?

Beer, tonics, sauces: Why is does Japanese citrus yuzu seem to be everywhere right now?

19 Jun 11:59 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP