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Home / Lifestyle

One Day You’ll Thank Me: What to do when the work-life balance isn’t working for your family

NZ Herald
1 Nov, 2023 04:00 PM4 mins to read

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Busy mom multitasking

Busy mom multitasking

Welcome to season five of the Herald’s parenting podcast: One Day You’ll Thank Me. Join parents and hosts Jenni Mortimer and Rebecca Haszard as they navigate the challenges and triumphs of parenting today with help from experts and well-known mums and dads from across Aotearoa.

Want to get in touch with the podcast? Email the team at odytm@nzme.co.nz.

One of the toughest choices any parent faces, but particularly new mums, is a seemingly impossible one: career, or family?

While having kids and starting a family is a life goal for many, it often comes with a cost to careers, with maternity leave and childcare responsibilities and costs seen by many - bosses and employees alike - as a constant battle.

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Yet, if a parent chooses to put career first and tries to juggle their job, family time is often one of the big sacrifices of that position - and vice versa.

It’s a struggle that hosts Jenni and Rebecca discuss in this emotional new episode of the podcast.

Rebecca Haszard and Jenni Mortimer, the hosts of the Herald's One Day You'll Thank Me podcast. Photo / NZ Herald
Rebecca Haszard and Jenni Mortimer, the hosts of the Herald's One Day You'll Thank Me podcast. Photo / NZ Herald

In this episode, they discuss the difficulties they’ve had trying to balance work and raising their young sons and the emotional toll it can take.

With Jenni’s son going to school next year, she opens up about the emotional impact this has had on her, with the growing realisation that his going to school means the end of those “early years” together and left her wondering if she had been there enough while juggling her full-time role.

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“What it really came down to is I felt like my career has eaten up so much of his childhood,” she shared.

“I just was like, all of a sudden, all these emotions came over me. I’ve got not even 12 months now, and then he’s at school. I won’t have a day working from home with him. I have to work to school holidays. Those early years will be gone.”

In response to this, she took him on a solo trip to Fiji for a holiday earlier this year, as a way of squeezing in a few more memories together before life gets in the way.

“It was just me and him and it was like the best thing ever because there were no distractions,” Jenni said. “It was just him thriving and me thriving and for a teeny tiny bit of time, my career and my job didn’t take the lead.”

Rebecca also shares her reasons for leaving her part-time job at the Herald, after experiencing a miscarriage earlier this year made her realise the time she has with her three-year-old son may be the only chance she has to experience this time with a toddler.

“I know that some people just want one kid, but I would like more than one kid. And if this is like the only taste of this kid under five that I’m going to get, then I really want to make the most of that.”

The episode also marked Rebecca’s last with the podcast and she shifts her focus to motherhood and son Hart.

  • Listen to today’s episode of One Day You’ll Thank Me below for more on trying to find that work-life balance.
  • You can follow the podcast at iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are out every Thursday.

For help or support with miscarriage

  • If you think you may be having a miscarriage, contact your lead maternity carer - this may be a midwife or your GP. Alternatively, call Healthline free on 0800 611 116, or visit your local Urgent Medical Centre or hospital.
  • Visit the Miscarriage Support website or join the Facebook group.
  • Visit the Sands website. Sands supports parents and families who have experienced the death of a baby.
  • Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
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