Sainsbury is sure she’s calling him to tell him off for using a Tina Turner track in one of his shows without permission.
“I thought I was in huge trouble for playing music that I hadn’t asked for the rights for: Tina Turner’s What’s Love Got to Do with It.” After four missed calls, he finally answers.
“It’s this woman who I kind of know. We’ve been to parties and things, and she’s part of this group of lesbian friends that get together and she knew this couple that were looking for a donor.”
While the issue of Tina Turner’s track isn’t raised, Sainsbury learns the couple has previously tried to have a child by seeking an anonymous sperm donor. He discovers at that time there were only seven men in New Zealand suitable for the couple’s requirements and willing to make an anonymous donation.
Their challenges follow reports that New Zealand has a shortage of sperm donors and a wait list at fertility clinics of 15 months or more.
But by the time the couple approached Sainsbury, he tells the Herald he was in a period in his life where he was trying to say yes to opportunities that came his way.
“This woman who rang me up from the music licencing thought I’d be a good match. And strangely at the time I’d just started doing improv comedy and I had fully embraced in my life the concept of saying yes to any offer. So they’re like, ‘Do you want to meet with this couple?’ And I said, ‘Yes’. And so I went and had coffee with them. And that’s how it all began.”
From here, the trio went to a fertility clinic where Sainsbury underwent a series of tests including a psychological assessment. “They talk to you and just kind of gauge what you will be like as a donor and to clarify what you want once the children are born, what’s required of you.
“From very early on the mothers were like, we don’t want any money from you. And so that was kind of the groundwork that was really setting things in concrete from the get go.”
A contract was signed and “because both mothers wanted to have a child with me”, Sainsbury was required to give seven sperm samples, he tells the Herald, recalling a small carpeted room, a lazy boy and a Penthouse magazine.
His contribution worked and now Sainsbury is the biological father to two children with the couple: a six-year-old girl and four-year-old boy.
So how has Sainsbury found being a biological parent to two - without being directly involved in their lives? Listen to today’s episode of One Day You’ll Thank Me to hear more from Tom Sainsbury about his life as a sperm donor.
Listen to Tom Sainsbury’s Small Town Scandal from March 26th wherever you get your podcasts.
You can follow the podcast at iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes are out every Thursday.
Want to get in touch with the podcast? Email the team at odytm@nzme.co.nz.
