KEY POINTS:
Emma is a woman of sense and sensibility. "Restaurant writers can come across as tossers," she suggested. "Rabbiting on about the little Roman trattoria or your last nasi goreng in Jakarta, chiffonnades and fumets when half your readers don't know whether a fumet is a wine or a cheese."
"Actually," I rejoined. "It means ... "
"Find," she challenged, "an upmarket place where the more timid diner won't feel ignorant or intimidated."
Vanity Fair, the New York Times, Wine Spectator and wallpaper* love the place I chose. Which might make O'Connell Street Bistro seem an unusual call.
So might the lunchtime huddle of pinstriped suits (male and female). Or the starched tablecloths and refined decor. A menu with cavalo nero and pommes gaufrette and pecorino sardo.
But, hey, look at the name. Bistro. The dictionary gives "a small, inexpensive and unpretentious restaurant". It's certainly small - 12 tables.
Inexpensive? Starters at about $20, duck at $35.50, desserts $14.50. With wine, a reasonably expensive night out.
Unpretentious? This was what I'd have to convince Emma of, on her first visit.
Chris Upton, who founded OCB just on 10 years ago, greeted us. Not because he knew - he works the floor most days.
Genial, welcoming, he offered a choice of tables, took coats, chatted to Emma. She felt at ease. Round 1 to me.
Pavel, our waiter, appeared with bread, small-talking the specials, giving us just enough time to relax, consider. He complimented us on our choices. Round 2 to me, I thought.
The patron was on wine today. We told him we'd like a glass with each dish and left the decisions to the boss.
Next test: I was having three courses, Emma two. How would they handle that twist? Easy. Upton served wine and explained his calls. Pavel brought my light starter of minced chicken and lemongrass tortellini - and an extra set of cutlery. "You might like just to try some," he suggested to Emma.
She did, enjoying the interplay of soothing pasta with an action-packed coriander, chilli and sesame seed salad, subtle backdrop of tamarind vinaigrette. Emma's description: "the perfect antidote for flash restaurant nerves".
Her first course was tuna with sweet and sour cucumber, a salad of herbs that looked much too young to have left the garden, tempura sweet-potato. Two hefty seared tuna steaks. Too hefty for Emma: she left one. Pavel was anxious: "You didn't like ... ?"
"No," she assured, "just too big".
Upton offered chardonnay or pinot noir with fish. She happily accepted Michael Gros pinot: "Adventurous food and wine matching," she said. "I liked that he asked us any for any likes or dislikes first. You get to be braver than normal."
Stephen Ward, chef since 2000, has a modern take on cassoulet, reducing it to pan-fried veal escalopes, slivers of spicy merguez sausage, glossy butterbeans. Still a hearty winter meal.
Upton teamed it with the sparse tones of Quartz Reef pinot gris 06, Emma noting that in both courses he'd switched the usual red/white meat/fish pairing.
Surprise standout was our last-minute side: a warm salad of brussels sprout leaves, orange and pecans. "I'm going to steal their idea," Emma said, "although I'm going to try savoy cabbage. What poor kitchen slave has to tear the leaves off the sprouts?"
By this stage I'd given up the scoring. It was obvious I'd made my point and we could chill out with desserts. Which is when it all turned to custard.
I admire a good creme brulee and OCB has always served a damn good one: this month's model is flavoured with kaffir lime curd and a manuka honey tuille. Quite up to their usual standard, and Upton got his final, playful shot in, a glass of Michele Chiarlo Moscato d'Asti, an Italian sweetie that Emma sipped and suggested was "like apple cider". I think I noticed Monsieur wince.
No, what upset me was Emma's pudding, an utterly gorgeous confection of Valrhona dark chocolate, melted and baked into a luscious fondant, lashings of nougat icecream. And she wouldn't share. So I stole her deep, ruby, port-ish Chateau D'Aydie M'aydie sticky.
This was her idea, so Emma gets the last word: "If it's posh, it's posh in the truest sense: well-mannered. Don't go with trepidation. You will feel comfortable there. If budget constrains, try the set lunch or go for the puddings alone. Go for pudding, go for lunch, go for - just go. If OCB suffers from anything, it suffers from being kept for 'special occasions'."
O'Connell St Bistro
Herald rating: 5 out of 5
Address: 3 O'Connell St, City
Phone: (09) 377 1884
Web: www.oconnellstbistro.com
Open: Lunch Tue-Fri, dinner Mon-Sat
Cuisine: Modern European
From the menu: Seared chicken livers on witloof, windsor blue cheese and toasted hazelnut salad with pancetta, truffle oil, $18.50; Oven-roasted duck breast and confit leg, buttered savoy cabbage, cavalo nero, chestnuts, gaufrette potatoes, porcini jus, $35.50; Apple, frangipane and amaretti biscuit tart, blackcurrant icecream, $14.50
Vegetarians: Might like to try elsewhere
Wine: If there's a better cellar in town. ...
