Every week, an alcohol-and-unwanted-grope-free international dance craze hijacks Auckland's Grey Lynn library hall in a celebration of the sheer joy of movement. The Melbourne-born No Lights No Lycra (NLNL) movement arose out of two dance students' love of booty-shaking back in 2009. Their recipe was simple; do away with teachers,
No groping, no booze - just dancing in the dark
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A new dance craze is taking over, No Lights No Lycra. Photo / Paul Philipson
Once the whoops of delight die down, it's crunch time, and I am suddenly plagued by doubt and nerves. What if it's not dark enough to hide my inadequate (due to small rear end) twerking? I feel alone and sober in this impromptu nightclub. And then, the lights go off.
The music starts. I sway awkwardly for a few minutes, distressed. It's not the complete pitch-black-ness I was praying for. I try not to get too close to my shadowy neighbour until I finally realise that to them, I am just a shadow too; in my anonymity, I am free.
Suddenly the room resounds with yelling, spontaneous clapping, latino tongue trills and, poof, my inhibitions vanish. I feel like a kid and can't stop giggling, bouncing around in a move I can only describe as a hair whip/pogo combo.

The next hour is glorious. I experiment with elbow dancing, whoosh my arms around in large circles (and manage not to injure anyone) and put my bedroom-mirror-perfected robot to the dance floor test. When the Chilli's Suck My Kiss blasts on the stereo, I pull the fingers at my imaginary adversaries and mosh, channeling my inner 15-year-old being, because a) I feel like a badass and b) no one's looking.
Having said that, I'm the first to admit that I pull more than a few sideways glances. I can tell that NLNL will improve my dance-floor arsenal because it is a literal gold mine for new moves, which are especially creative during a Nigerian rump-shaking track that plays about halfway through.
The electronica-heavy playlist is masterfully crafted down to the last minute by Newman, who also moonlights as a musician and DJ. If, like me, you long for some raunchy hip hop tunes then you can request tracks in advance via the Facebook page.
A warning is issued at the start of the penultimate song, enough time to untuck my sweat-soaked top from my sports bra (FYI: don't wear too much, you'll wish you hadn't) and reign in the vogue-ing just incase the lights come on early.
All too soon it is over.
Not only is it the best workout I've had in a long time (and at a paltry $5, one of the cheapest), but it's a safe, discrimination-free environment in which to shed both your stress and your inhibitions, minus the next-day-hangover. Plus it's a hell of a lot of fun.
I'm sold; see you next week.
Head to NLNL Auckland's Facebook page to find out more. For other New Zealand-based group click here.
- nzherald.co.nz