“One of the questions everyone asks me is like what are the problems that you’ve come across, or are there problems and identify them, as a Pacific woman or person in journalism for nearly 40 years in mainstream [media].
“And I find that really interesting because I couldn’t identify anything. I don’t look at it like that because once there are hurdles or I put a block there, then I’m never going to succeed.”
Retimanu said being a Pacific person and being Samoan motivates her to succeed.
“When I’m competing with other journalists for a job for a news reading position, I’m competing with everyone else on an equal level, no matter of gender or ethnicity. I don’t see myself as anything different.”
She said you’ve got to have passion above all else, and having that hunger and drive shines through more than putting barriers in front of yourself.
Retimanu has learned to be resilient from a young age. Before she and her siblings were born, her parents moved to Invercargill from Samoa with two other families to find jobs at the freezing works. They were some of the only Pacific families in the city at the time, and lacked the support network found in a larger city like Auckland.
That was felt years later, when Retimanu was in her early 20s, and both her parents died months apart from cancer – her father first, then her mother.
She said it was a difficult time as she was living in Timaru, travelling every weekend to visit them and help care for them, and putting little thought into her own wellbeing.
“At the time when my father died ... when one parent goes, you put all your effort into the second parent instead of your own grief. I was thinking, ‘oh my gosh, my dad’s gone, how’s my mother going to feel?’ instead of looking after myself and thinking, ‘it’s your dad who’s gone, how do you feel about that?’.
“I didn’t think about that until she passed and so the grief had consumed me really and it was quite horrible.”
Even though she still had her siblings, Retimanu said it was still an individual process to go through, and she fell into a depression trying to deal with her emotions.
“I wasn’t sleeping. I lacked energy. I wasn’t eating well. And then all of a sudden too, I was smoking cigarettes and I was being the party animal because I am an extrovert, but I was overcompensating. I was kind of like trying to numb everything because I didn’t want to feel the pain.”
She eventually went to see a counsellor and said putting your hand up and asking for help when you are going through a difficult time is key.
Her advice for others is to simply find what works for you.
“If you are referred to a counsellor, and if you don’t get on with that counsellor, don’t persist and continue with having a couple of sessions. You know after the first 10 or 15 minutes, or after the first session, if it doesn’t work for you, if that person’s not right, and maybe you’re not right for that counsellor as well, then go and find someone else.”
Listen to the full episode for more from Niva Retimanu.
Ask Me Anything is an NZ Herald podcast hosted by former Deputy Prime Minister Paula Bennett. New episodes are available every Sunday.
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