I've been chasing the illusion of the flat stomach for 14 years now, writes Lee Suckling.

Every magazine article you've read or link you've ever clicked that told you how to get a flat stomach was lying to you.

You see these stories every day: "Six weeks to a six pack!" Men's health mags will tell you. "Drop a dress size before spring!" you'll see in an Instagram ad. And so the same tired advice will begin. Eat more fruit and veggies. Curb your sugar intake. Follow a routine of crunches that haven't really changed since 1958.

I'm repentant to

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