KEY POINTS:
Things are starting to change.
The effects on my body are becoming more apparent.
I find it surreal to process really, I had the treatment three weeks ago and got over the first hurdle of nausea but now when my mind feels fine, my body starts to shut down.
It's like it's happening for no apparent reason but obviously the drugs are there and working.
This week has been a little tougher. I have been battling a head cold since last week and finally in the weekend I admitted the fact that I wasn't getting any better.
After checking through my instructions from oncology on my special little green card I decided to call them to let them know how I had been.
I made what I thought would be a "quick" trip in to have an immediate check up just to ensure I was fine.
After hanging about in the Christchurch Hospital emergency department for a few hours my results had come back to say I was neutropenic - which means that my neutrophils that fight infection (my immune system) were really low at 0.4 and for me to be at home I needed to be around a minimum 0.5.
I was admitted in overnight.
Come Monday my results had dropped and they were even lower on Tuesday, so by this stage I was missing my two boys heaps and wanting to be at home tucked up in my own bed. But having nearly no immune system put me at huge risk of picking up unwanted bugs.
The nurses were so good to me and knew how much I wanted to get home. They humoured me when the results kept coming back each time with disappointment... until Wednesday.
I had been talking my neutrophils up overnight and YES! They were up to 0.5 and I was off home.
I do have to say - my poor left arm. Because of my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy earlier in the year it means that any needles or tests done need to be from my left arm to avoid any damage to my right side.
It's got more holes in it now than a sieve and it's so sore.
Once upon a time I didn't mind needles but now I hate the feeling of "oh god this is gonna hurt - again".
Back-tracking a little - Saturday was a bit of a downer for me. The first strands of hair started to come out; each day it progressively got worse.
Andrew must have seen how I was heading into a "moment" and took Benji out for a walk so I could have some time to myself to pick myself up after a bit of a cry.
When I got home on Wednesday I had a set of clippers waiting for me from our friend Raj and Andrew shaved my head in our bathroom.
Initially as the clippers touched my head I didn't know how to react and cried a little but then after a few deep breaths the whole scary build up was gone and I was fine.
First a number four, then a number one.
Honestly, it doesn't look that bad. We took some before, during and after photos and I really don't feel as different as I thought I would.
I had to have a check though for bumps, dents and marks because really I had never been without hair and who knows what it looked like under there. Thankfully I have a pretty normal head.
I still have a thin layer of hair left - it hasn't fallen out completely just yet. I am sure it will in time, but I feel quite confident in myself that it won't hinder things as I had originally prepared myself for.
I am due for my second round of treatment today and hopefully I am strong enough to have it.
As much as I am a little apprehensive, I really don't want delays so will do whatever I can to ensure my treatment plan stays on track.
Saturday night we have a prizegiving dinner for Andrew's Club Hockey team HSOB and I am determined to go along and enjoy myself.
I can't say I'm so sure I'll be able to enjoy all the food but I am certainly looking forward to spending what time I can there with all our friends.
Haven't yet decided if I'll don the new wig or not - time will tell I guess.
Brenna, 25, found out that she had breast cancer in May. She is keeping a diary which she will share with Herald readers on a regular basis. All Brenna's blogs were originally published in the Christchurch Star.