'You best bet I was going to bust out my best moves on the dance floor at the reception.' Photo / Getty Images
Anyone who has attended a wedding knows that mishaps and misfortune can often plague these highly orchestrated events.
What’s meant to be the happiest day of a couple’s life can easily be outshone by someone having an accidental main character moment, or even acts of God.
Maybe the wind toppled over the champagne tower, or a cheeky page boy stopped mid-aisle to bust out his best Fortnite moves. Did the groom pull a Ross from Friends and say the wrong name at the altar?
Or maybe your Mama is a Spice Girl who danced “inappropriately” on you, leading you to abandon your family and Holler your condemnation to Instagram stories, telling them to Stop Right Now, because two just became one. Viva Forever, am I right?
Needless to say, we’ve all got a wedding disaster story, from wardrobe malfunctions to missing groomsmen. We spoke to six Kiwis about theirs.
My best friend was getting married and had put all six of us bridesmaids in super booby dresses. I was the maid of honour, and when we were at the front, I bent down to fix the train for the bride, and of course, that was the time that my boob plopped out. I quickly tucked it back away, hoping that it wasn’t too obvious. But it was. Apparently, everyone saw (so I’m told). So, of course, for my speech I had to start with “well, you have all seen a lot of me today, so I’m going to make this quick ...” Safe to say I didn’t keep that dress afterwards. - Kirstie
It was 2013, and Flo Rida’s 2008 hit song Low had made a massive resurgence. That was the same year my aunt was getting married, and you bet I was going to bust out my best moves on the dance floor at the reception. Turns out doing slut drop (a dance move involving quickly squatting down as low as possible with a straight back and immediately popping back up) with suit pants on isn’t the best idea. As soon as my knees locked, I heard a rip and spent the rest of the night trying to hide the gaping hole on my behind. - John*
The start of my wedding was delayed because nobody could find one of the groomsmen. Everyone was sitting down waiting for the bridal party to walk in, when he suddenly emerged from the toilet and loudly told the guests, “sorry ... I had to poop” as he walked himself down the aisle and into position. - Sonia*
It was 1996. We were one of the first weddings at Mudbrick on Waiheke Island. The day had been perfect, the speeches beautiful. Then my mum surprised me by asking to speak. She’s extremely shy, but she’d been fortified by a glass or two of champagne when she announced, “I’m so pleased to see these two married. I thought Lorna was going through the alphabet until she reached Trevor”! It brought the house down, even I saw the funny side – but I was basically shamed by my own mother! - Lorna Riley
I attended a wedding once where the celebrant turned to the man and said “Rebecca, do you take Ryan”, then turned to the woman and said “Ryan, do you take Rebecca”. After he got through the vows, he explained to those in the church, “we will now have the lighting of the candles, after the lighting of the candles, that will be the end of the marriage.”. He was supposed to say the end of the service. - Sarah*
My wife and I got married in Las Vegas in 2009 by a speed-talking, rhinestone-bedazzled Elvis impersonator. He absolutely raced through the vows because we had roughly 15 minutes allotted before the next couple was to be shuffled in. The problem arose when too many people showed up.
We had joked to all our (US-based) family and friends that we were eloping, but told them the time and date and said they were welcome to tag along. It turned out a lot more people were looking for an excuse to spend a weekend in Vegas than we had anticipated. The very small Graceland Wedding Chapel was filled to standing-room only, but went off without a hitch.
After the ceremony, we had invited everyone to our fancy penthouse/honeymoon suite at a well-known Las Vegas Strip hotel for pizza and drinks. The fine print stated we were allowed to have guests but not a “party” in the suite, even though it was the size of an apartment. Hotel staff first caught on to this when my new father-in-law brazenly pushed a luggage cart past reception with hundreds of dollars’ worth of Costco liquor. The hotel later threatened to shut down the gathering. But we stumbled on a bit of Vegas luck that kept them at bay.
The suite came with a massage table room, in which the person who stayed there previously had left behind their dirty undergarments. Staff agreed to turn a blind eye to the party, as long as we kept things relatively quiet (we did) and if we turned a blind eye to the underwear situation (we also did). - Craig Kapitan
*Some names have been changed at the request of those wanting not to be blacklisted from future celebrations.