"He works 12 hour days, and when he's not working here, he's working on our new lake house that he built from the ground up.
"He's never home on the weekends. It was honestly his first weekend with our youngest in three years. I really just started by explaining to him how to set up her diffuser, and then it just got out of hand."
Ms Oeser started used the letter to talk her beau through his weekend with their children - five girls aged three, five, seven, nine and 12 and one boy aged 15.
"Dearest Husband, I'm writing this to you out of love, not fear. I wanted to go over a few things with you before you embark on this weekend alone... with the others," she wrote.
"Nighttime, daytime, breakfast time, and somewhere around lunchtime can easily be mistaken for pure HELL, with Satan coming off as a My Little Pony in comparison."
Ms Oeser said upon arriving home after work, her husband would feel as though everything was okay because "the others" would "hug, jump, and for the most part, be pretty excited" to see him.
But Ms Oeser said this was also "hell hour."
"The others will fight about anything and everything, with Quinn and Penny being the biggest instigators," Ms Oeser continued.
"It's most likely that Quinn will be pi***d off about Penny wearing her Elsa dress, and Penny equally pi***d off because Quinn will ONLY refer to her as Anna. Penny will also be fighting sleep, which I'll get to later."
She went on to write that at dinner, each of the kids would ask for different things (including purple toast) before everything went "real quiet."
"This is when you'll realize that the threenager has fallen asleep somewhere. Do NOT let the threenager fall asleep," she warned.
"You're basically f****d if this happens. She will be wide awake until at least 1:30am if you're not careful. Given your 9:30 bedtime and 5am wake up, this is less than ideal."
She then explained the difficulties with the bedtime routine.
"You'll end up bringing Penny to bed with you, thinking that's a good idea. Ha ha ha ha ha! You may as well sleep next to Evander Holyfield on uppers," Ms Oeser wrote.
"Just try getting her into her bed. Give her the iPad. This will save your life... promise. Make sure you turn the volume down, along with the screen brightness. Speaking of brightness, don't forget the diffuser.
"Fill that s**t up, and add 2 drops of Peace and calming, one lavender, and one stress away. Set the light to PURPLE. Sweet baby Jesus, please remember purple. If you set it to blue, she will act as if her retinas are on the god damned sun."
Ms Oeser also covered the dramas at breakfast time and explained that he would likely get nothing done while she was gone.
Ms Oeser told Daily Mail that when she returned from her weekend 'the house was destroyed' and that her husband had had a total of four hours sleep.
"And instead of getting the baby to bed when she got up on the middle of the night, he clearly set up some sort of pillow barricade," she said.
"We honestly love it," she concluded.
