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Home / Lifestyle

Mum who lets son eat dirt reveals why she won't toilet train him

By Hannah Paine
news.com.au·
20 Oct, 2021 06:38 PM3 mins to read

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The US mum says she's allowing her son to toilet train himself when he's ready. Photo / @growingupfern

The US mum says she's allowing her son to toilet train himself when he's ready. Photo / @growingupfern

A US mum has revealed she doesn't plan to toilet train her son and will instead wait until he "asks".

Alice Bender shares her life raising 14-month-old son Fern on her TikTok account @comingupfern, where she has more than 600,000 followers.

In a TikTok video this week Alice was asked when she would begin toilet training Fern, who she gave birth to "peacefully" at home with no medical help.

"We aren't going to potty train him at all," she replied. "When he asks how to use the toilet we'll show him how."

Her response sparked plenty of debate among her followers with some even claiming it "has to be a joke".

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However, the majority of parents defended Alice's decision.

"This is what my older sister did. Her son potty trained himself by 2.5yr because there was no pressure to do," another said.

"I can agree with this; we put a small toilet for him in the bathroom for whenever he was ready and one day he just magically started going himself at three years," one person wrote.

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"This is what I did and my son was fully using the toilet, day and night, at 18 months. It took three days," another claimed.

Alice's stance on toilet training is actually similar to a well-used method known as "child-oriented toilet training".

Using this method involves parents talking about using the toilet and offering it as an option to children aged between 2 and 3, Healthline reports.

Rather than pushing children to begin using the toilet within a set time, it encourages them to move away from nappies at their own pace and because they want to fit in with the people around them.

The US mum says she's allowing her son to toilet train himself when he's ready. Photo / @growingupfern
The US mum says she's allowing her son to toilet train himself when he's ready. Photo / @growingupfern

It was developed by paediatrician T. Berry Brazelton in 1962, with research suggesting it can be one of the most successful types of toilet training.

Back in May Alice revealed that she didn't stop Fern from putting whatever he wanted in his mouth.

This included sticks, rocks, dirt and sand as well as licking "unsanitised shopping carts".

"I do not fear bacteria. In fact, I welcome it. I trust nature and my baby. It is not a coincidence babies have this instinct while they are breastfeeding," she said in a video.

While letting babies consume a small amount of bacteria from objects put in their mouths can help "boost immune systems", sand and dirt is known to host dangerously high levels of bacteria and can cause breathing problems when inhaled.

Alice's video sparked massive debate among people, some of whom argued they ate dirt as a kid and grew up "fine".

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But others expressed concern, arguing she was "taking it too far".

"I do understand the bacteria thing but sand and sticks doesn't sound right," one person commented.

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