NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Mother and son reunite, fall in love

Daily Mail
25 Dec, 2016 02:00 AM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

The pair told New Day they are in love and have 'mind-blowing' sex. Photo / New Day

The pair told New Day they are in love and have 'mind-blowing' sex. Photo / New Day

In case you missed it: This was one of Lifestyle's most popular stories of 2016

A mother who was reunited with her son after giving him up for adoption more than 30 years ago says the pair are in love and trying for a baby after he left his wife for her.

British-born Kim West, 51, and her son Ben Ford, 32, who lives in Michigan, have been in a relationship since they met in 2014 and says they have "incredible and mind-blowing" sex.

The pair came back into contact two years ago after Mr Ford wanted to find out more about his birth parents and got in touch with Miss West.

They found themselves sexually attracted to each other and shared their first kiss over a bottle of champagne in a hotel before having sex.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

And just three days after they had sex for the first time, Mr Ford told his wife Victoria, he no longer loved her and would be leaving.

He told New Day that he told his wife: "Everytime I have had sex with you since I met her, I imagine its her I am kissing, otherwise I can't perform."

West, who grew up in Islington, London, became pregnant while studying in California and after giving birth to her son aged 19, gave him up for adoption.

After Ford was adopted a week after he was born, she came back to the UK but was unable to make a relationship work.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

But in December 2013, she received a letter from her son, who was looking to track down his biological parents.

And ever since the pair were reunited in January 2014, they realised they were attracted to each other.

Now two years on, he is in a relationship with his mother with the pair living in Michigan in what they describe as 'Genetic Sexual Attraction'.

And now they plan to marry and are even trying to have a baby together.

Discover more

Lifestyle

15 min procedure could end misery of miscarriage

10 Apr 01:30 AM
Lifestyle

The age when you are the most popular

10 Apr 02:50 AM
Opinion

Sarah Gomillion: Phones tell social peaks and lows

10 Apr 05:00 PM
Opinion

Why do women still take their husband's name?

11 Apr 03:29 AM

West, who works as an interior designer, told Alley Einstein of New Day: "This is not incest, it is GSA. We are like peas in a pod and are meant to be together.

"I know people will say we're disgusting, that we should be able to control our feelings, but when you're hit by a love so consuming you are willing to give up everything for it, you have to fight for it."

Incest is illegal in the couple's home state of Michigan and judges in the state are able to give out life sentences to those found guilty of the offence.

However, it is unclear if a case against them would be pursued and the couple say they would move if that were the case.

Ford first got in touch with his biological mother in December 2013, while living with his wife in Colorado, as he wanted to know more about his birth parents.

They arranged to meet up and the couple grew close, and eventually shared their first kiss.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Soon after, Ford, a freelance computer coder, left his wife after realising he had fallen for his mother and moved to Michigan, where they met with another GSA couple.

Now the couple are planning a special wedding and hope to have a baby together. They also say they will consider surrogacy, if they are unable to have a biological child.

Genetic sexual attraction is a seldom-talked about phenomenon that occurs between adoptees and their long-lost parents.

It describes feelings of intense intimacy between two relatives who have been separated during the critical years of development and bonding, and then meet for the first time as adults.

When an adult-child and their biological parent finally meet, the brain struggles to associate each other as family.

Instead, they become captivated with one another, sharing similar physical features, likes and dislikes, which is coupled with complex feelings of intimacy. This can lead both parties to express their emotions sexually.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The phenomenon was first identified by Barbara Gonyo in the Eighties, after she a wrote book called I'm His Mother, But He's Not My Son, which recounted her personal story of reuniting with the son she placed for adoption at 16.

How adults who reunite with estranged parents risk 'genetic sexual attraction'

Research by the British Medical Journal shows that half of people separated from relatives at a young age experience strong sexual feelings when they are reunited.

When families grow up together, an inherent taboo is created which desensitises them to sexual attraction.

But those who miss out on this time can develop powerful, obsessive feelings for their parents or even siblings in adulthood.

Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) is a term that describes the phenomenon of sexual attraction between close relatives, such as siblings, first and second cousins or a parent and offspring who first meet as adults.

The term GSA was coined 30 years ago by American Barbara Gonyo.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

She wrote a book about the lust she felt for the adult son she had given up for adoption 26 years earlier. She never acted on her feelings.

One couple who have spoke out about their GSA relationship is Australian father and daughter John and Jenny Deaves.

It is understood that the pair were estranged prior to reuniting back in 2000, only seeing each other three times.

But once reunited their relationship quickly became intimate ending Mr Deaves marriage to then wife Dorothy.

However, GSA is rare between people raised together in early childhood due to a reverse sexual imprinting known as the Westermarck effect, which desensitizes them sexual attraction.

Experts believe that this effect evolved to prevent inbreeding.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

18 Jun 12:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

UK sculptor claims NZ artwork copied his design, seeks recognition

17 Jun 10:23 PM
New Zealand

Wapiti burger takes Rotorua eatery to Wild Food Challenge final

17 Jun 08:58 PM

Sponsored: Embrace the senses

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

I thought I was a ‘moderate’ drinker until I started tracking my alcohol

18 Jun 12:00 AM

Telegraph: Many of us are prone to wishful thinking when it comes to our alcohol intake.

Premium
UK sculptor claims NZ artwork copied his design, seeks recognition

UK sculptor claims NZ artwork copied his design, seeks recognition

17 Jun 10:23 PM
Wapiti burger takes Rotorua eatery to Wild Food Challenge final

Wapiti burger takes Rotorua eatery to Wild Food Challenge final

17 Jun 08:58 PM
Premium
How to tackle your to-do list if you struggle with executive functioning

How to tackle your to-do list if you struggle with executive functioning

17 Jun 06:00 PM
Help for those helping hardest-hit
sponsored

Help for those helping hardest-hit

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP