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Home / Lifestyle

Modern Etiquette: Help! My boyfriend has dozens of teddies

By Lee Suckling
Herald online·
20 Apr, 2015 11:00 PM5 mins to read

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What's the deal with a man owning dozens of cuddly toys? Photo / 123RF

What's the deal with a man owning dozens of cuddly toys? Photo / 123RF

Opinion

Collections of anything - whether it be stuffed animals, stamps, or plates with Princess Diana's face on them - will always be the pride and joy of some, and the subject of loathing for others. Two-dozen stuffed Disney characters is not necessarily a cause for concern, but it is a cause for conversation.

DO YOU HAVE A MODERN DAY DILEMMA OR STUCK IN AN ETHICAL BIND? SEND US AN EMAIL

If your boyfriend is just a simple hoarder, bring up the subject with a "spring cleaning" (or rather, "winter cleaning") approach and see if he can find it in his heart to give some of his toys away to children who will use them. If he is attached to his stuffed animals for childhood sentimentality reasons, tell him you understand how much he loves them, but they're taking up too much space and he needs to choose just one to keep (the rest can go into storage).

If he's obsessed with his stuffed animals, in a can't-go-to-sleep-before-they-are-individually-placed-from-bed-to-sidetable kind of way, tell him you're uncomfortable with how close he is to them, and it's affecting the way you feel in his bedroom. If he values his sex life, he'll reconsider putting the cast of Finding Nemo on display next time you come over.

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Can I go to the movies alone? - Silent Cinema-goer, Nelson.

Don't feel sheepish about going alone.
Photo / 123RF
Don't feel sheepish about going alone. Photo / 123RF

It's not a question of "can you?", but rather, "how and when?" when it comes to solo movie-going. Personally, I love a lone cinema date. It's not like I talk to anybody during the show anyway, and I get particularly excited by the possibility I'll have the entire theatre to myself (Sunday sessions at 10am are your best bet, though your chances are now lower because I've published such a tip).

You absolutely can go to the movies alone, and shouldn't feel at all bashful when buying a ticket for one. In fact, be proud of the fact you have the confidence to sit alone in silence. The cinema attendants themselves usually see several films alone every week, so their judgement of you as "sad" needn't enter your mind.

Nor should you feel you need to slink into your seat after the trailers start, so others don't see you're alone. Going to the movies alone takes courage, indeed, but it's also wonderfully peaceful - you have two hours to yourself, phone off, where nobody can interrupt you.

But, there are some situations in which you shouldn't go to the multiplex alone. Rather, there are some films you should steer clear of. Stay away from anything too intense (Whiplash and Nightcrawler are bad choices for the solo film-fan) or too complicated (I saw Inception alone and still have no idea what it was about). Instead, choose feel-good films like The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, exciting films like the new Avengers blockbuster, or, if you're up for a good cry by yourself, silly but poignant films like Nicolas Sparks's The Longest Ride.

What are the rules of the pool?
Photo / 123RF
What are the rules of the pool? Photo / 123RF

I reached out to several swimmer friends to get the lowdown on this one. Universally, swimmers seem to agree that if someone has to go around you to get ahead, you need to move to a slower lane. You may think you're "fast", but the Olympic hopeful behind you will get agro quickly because they have no place else to go - but you do. If a swimmer had a good pace going, don't jump in the pool and push off in front of them - it will take you a few minutes to gain the same traction as they already have. Instead, wait for them to start a new length and follow their lead. Also remember that as you tire, you may slow down and shouldn't rule out a lane-switch mid-swim if required.

Speed aside, it's also important not to chase another swimmer's toes. It's disturbing to have a stranger touch your feet by accident and will throw them off their game, not to mention the fact that when you're bumper-to-bumper with another swimmer, you're enjoying a free draft and not getting the same workout you think you're getting.

Use the same road rules you'd use in your car in the swimming pool, too. Keep to the left. Never cross the centre line. At the end of the lane, turn at the middle, or as far left as you can. If you're stopping at the end of the lane, ensure you're out of the way and won't cramp another swimmer's flip-turning style. Lastly, never stop in the middle of a length. This seems an obvious no-no, but people do it. Not only do you risk a head-on collision, but you might actually see a mass exodus out of the pool because people assume you're having a wee.

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