Modern etiquette: Escalator dos and don'ts

What is the etiquette in New Zealand concerning escalator use? Photo / iStock

Opinion

I saw this story about escalator use in Japan. What is the etiquette in New Zealand concerning escalator use? I'm from the UK and we walk on the left and stand on the right, but Kiwis seem to be all over the place. - Rail Rage, Auckland

Unfortunately, because of the sheer lack of escalators in New Zealand, we Kiwis have never really learned how to use them. Assuming you're from London (or know it well), you will be accustomed to the organised chaos that is the Tube, whereby those not in a rush line up nicely on the right-hand side of every escalator, leaving the left-hand side free for anybody who needs to run up or down, so they can get where they need to be on time.

When you know this system, it's infuriating to be in a suburban Kiwi mall (a terror of its own) running quick errands, only to met by people spread out all over the moving stairs. You'll try to dodge in left, then swerve in right, but eventually you'll usually approach a couple who are taking up the entire space. Cue silent internal fury, which bubbles away until they finally step off the stair and go on their way to Gloria Jeans.

So, in line with the UK model of escalator use (which may or may not stem from driving on the left-hand side of the road, as we do too), I hereby would like to launch a nationwide etiquette campaign for escalator use.

Stand on the right if you don't want to walk. Leave the left clear so people in a rush, or those who aren't lazy, can get past you. Keep your elbows in, your bags to one side, and don't talk with your hands and risk whacking people in the face.

It's easy, right? If we all make the effort to respect such etiquette, we can all use escalators in happy peace.

Can I ask the receptionist at my office to tone it down on the perfume? I sit near her and it reeks all day long. - Smell Sensitive, Wellington

How do you ask a colleague to remove their perfume? Photo / iStock

While researching last week's Modern Etiquette query about restaurant cancellations, I learned that a restaurant staffer is allowed to ask you to remove your perfume for the sake of others' comfort before you sit down to eat. That sounded ridiculous to me, but somehow, it's acceptable hospitality protocol and doesn't impinge on consumer rights.

It's clear whomever decided this was legal is not an etiquette expert, however. Can you imagine how offended you would be if your waiter wouldn't seat you until you wiped off your excess Chanel No. 5? I would leave the restaurant and never come back. It's likely that if you applied the same approach to somebody you work with, you'd be met with the same reaction: horror, rejection, and offense.

If your receptionist's use of perfume is a problem for the entire office, take it up with your boss, not with the receptionist directly. If the smell only affects you, asked to be moved to another desk. Understandably an overbearing smell can cause problems (e.g. respiratory or in productivity) for many people, so if this is the case, make it your reason for your request and leave it there. It's then up your boss to best manage the situation. That's why they have the job title "manager".

My friend broke up with her boyfriend, so naturally, I deleted him on Facebook. There was no reason to remain friends. Unexpectedly, they're now back together. How do I proceed with this modern day dilemma? - Deleting Dilemma, Auckland

No need to re-add your friend's boyfriend to your Facebook list. Photo / iStock

There's no need to proactively re-add your friend's boyfriend to your Facebook list. If you were that quick to delete him in the first place (what a loyal friend you are!) then you clearly have no relationship with him other than by association. Even though he's once again with your friend, do you really care about his updates?

You might have a situation on your hands this guy realises you deleted him. Despite the fact we all realise social media life is not real life (well, most of us do), whenever you discover you've been deleted it's a bit of a stake in the old heart. There's something about being digitally dismissed by another that makes you feel distressed.

If he's a chilled-out guy, he'll take it on the chin and soon realise that your allegiances always lied with his girlfriend. Accepting this, he might try and re-add you as a Facebook friend, but you shouldn't approve it out of obligation. Unless you think it's going to be too awkward to bear every time you see him again, just leave his request sitting there in the Facebook requests graveyard.

If for some reason you do want to add him again, for fear of discomfort or offending your friend by appearing unsupportive of their relationship, do understand that you'll look like a dog returning home with your tail between your legs. Whether you're okay with that or not is up to you.