Modern etiquette: Can I take a naked selfie when I'm pregnant?

Kim K and her sister Kourtney are huge fans of taking naked photos when pregnant. Photo / Kim Kardashian

Opinion

Kim Kardashian and lots of other pregnant celebrities seem to be doing nude selfies these days. Is this really that appropriate? I'm pregnant and wonder if I could do one, but what if my boss sees it? - Selfie Scared, Auckland.

First of all, let's get one thing straight. Neither Kim K, Coco Austin, or any other E! channel "celebrity" pioneered the sensual pregnant photo shoot.

For the August 1991 issue of Vanity Fair, seven-month pregnant Demi Moore posed for Annie Leibovitz with one hand covering her breasts, the other cradling her belly, and the world went wild for years.

Few people that follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram probably know this; it was 19 years ago after all. The only difference now is that instead of the world's most famous photographer behind the camera, these photographs are taken in bathrooms and dressing rooms by the pregnant person themselves.

This is, of course, empowering for body image diversity. The world needs to know that pregnant women still feel sexy, still love their bodies, still aren't afraid of what people think.

Whether a nude pregnant selfie is okay or not depends on who you are as a person. Kim and Coco make money from being provocative. Such selfies are part of their brand building. If you're just a regular person with an office job, however, it's probably not so appropriate.

However, this has nothing to do with being pregnant, or even being female. Naked selfies aren't appropriate for anybody working in the corporate world, whether they're male or female, with child or without.

They will no doubt come back to bite you in the arse. Pun intended.

Is leaving a tip in New Zealand considered weird? Whenever I try it after getting really good service, it seems to be a bit awkward. - Trying on Tips, Wellington.

Photo / iStock

Occasionally high-end restaurants will ask for optional gratuities when you pay the bill, but these are rare and not expected. Many cafes have a tip jar at the counter, so feel free to throw in a dollar or two whenever you get a really great coffee.

Aside from that, there's no tipping culture in New Zealand and trying to tip in the way you'd do overseas (your taxi driver, your courier, your dentist...) is very unexpected down under. No wonder you get a strange reception.

In the absence of tipping expectations, it's advisable only to tip when somebody you're paying to do a job has done more than the job they're being paid for.

Say you're having a new washing machine delivered, for example. If the delivery person offers to take away your broken old machine and recycle it, throw him or her a fiver.

Same goes if you're moving house and the movers help you with stuff you haven't paid them to pack, or when an electrician comes to fix your heat pump but also takes a look at your faulty light switch (but doesn't add this to the invoice).

See the trend? It's nice to reward people with a tip when they've done something for you out of the goodness of their heart, and not because of their job description. Particularly when people are visiting you at your property to do a job, a tip shouldn't go down awkwardly.

I accidentally liked a crush's picture on Facebook from several months ago. Do I act cool when I see them in person or mention it? What should I do or say if they bring it up? - Cruising my Crush, Auckland.

Photo / iStock

Even though you can quickly "unlike" any Facebook post, the person who posted it immediately receives a notification the millisecond you press that "like" button, and that little red globe-shaped icon isn't revoked.

Their activity feed will say you liked it, but if/when they click on the actual post, your name won't be there because you subsequently revoked it. Realistically, then, unliking something is really quite useless.

This isn't to say things need to get awkward with your crush. No matter what we tell ourselves, every single person who posts something to Facebook wants it to get likes. It's this modern craving all Facebook users have, made only apparent when we realise a post isn't as funny/sexy/enlightening/cool as we thought, and it get no likes at all.

Remember that your like means no more, or no less, than that of any other friend. So, of course you'll be able to act cool when you see them next -obtaining your like, whether you're crushing on them or not, was their goal.

If they ever bring it up, just reply, "Yeah, I thought it was a cute photo".

Note, the photo is cute, you're not explicitly saying you think THEY are cute. Unless you actually want your crush to turn into something more, this is the way to go.