“It’s not my fault the pillow is yellow and bestows upon me the most peaceful slumber.”
Thousands of men around the world raised their sweaty scalps from their own fetid furnishings and jumped online to praise their bed buddy.
“Best sleep ever using this sweat-soaked abomination,” wrote one enthusiast.
“I love my pillow,” another pillow progressive wrote. “I don’t see colour.”
“Part of being a man is using the same pillow since the age of 10 and never washing it,” another claimed.
Some even went to the trouble of sharing disturbing images of their own pillows.
Others claimed their pillow had remarkable abilities to control temperature.
“It’s always so cold. It’s the absolute best,” one man claimed.
The original tweet quickly racked up millions of views and amongst those praising their pillow were those mourning its loss.
“My life has been a downward spiral since I threw away mine when I was like 23,” one sad boi said.
“Mine finally crumbled under me after 30 years,” a veteran wrote. “RIP yellow pillow.”
“Mine went ‘missing’ and my wife said she hadn’t seen it. Later that day I found it in the dumpster outside our apartment. Her confession came soon after,” a grieving husband revealed.
“Ew,” one woman wrote, summing up the response of many women to the outpouring of love for the yellow pillow.
“WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE MAN OWN THESE,” asked another woman.
“That actually makes me wanna puke,” another wrote.
“That would put me to sleep permanently,” one disgusted woman said.
“Because I have severe asthma and a dust-mite allergy. One of the sexiest things about my bf is that part of his Sunday routine is changing all his bedding (He also has a bed frame).”
What a flash guy.
Other women said the yellow pillow was a turn-off and suggested that it betrayed its owner’s lack of hygiene.
“Men who have this pillow do not wash between the cheeks, remember that,” one woman claimed.
“If you go to his house and see these, leave,” another advised.
But sadly the pillow that started the debate has now been retired.
Cam Thomson revealed to NBC News that his girlfriend had pressured him to move it off their bed.
“I’ve tucked it away into storage. I don’t think I can bring myself to throw it out.”
This article was originally published on October 25, 2023.
