Melissa Hoyer: 'It's a big part of my job but I have social media fatigue'

Melissa Hoyer has social media fatigue. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

It may seem a bit rich coming from someone like me, a person whose job is very much wrapped up in feeding the social media beast.

But I am over it. Tired.

Like a whole lot of other users, I've been struck down with a social media tsetse fly.

There is just too darn much of it. Instead of it being a joyful, fun kind of thing, it's something many of us are now begrudgingly looking at like a chore, similar to remembering to take out the garbage bin on the right night.

I've even put a sleep health challenge on my phone, which tells me when to digitally start winding down (aka: when to get off the bloody thing). And I love it.

Sure, from a work point of view, there is no question many of us have to keep up a social media awareness and post things that are appropriate and relevant to our various workplaces — so let's get that out of the way from the onset.

But my interest in putting stuff out there, just for the hell of it, has waned. I'm in a malaise. And I don't mind at all.

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Both @sallyobermeder & I teaching @ryanphelan_tv the historical significance of the #pussybow . . . (The Pussy-Bow Blouse was made popular by Coco Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent, who took inspiration from late 19th-century Gibson Girls. As the style evolved from designer fashion to everyday wear, the look became a power-dressing staple. The blouse is now synonymous with strength) - aside from talking the latest in #popculture news @dailyeditionon7 @newscomauhq #tde7 #commentary #editor #tv #live

A post shared by Melissa Hoyer (@melissahoyer) on Mar 13, 2019 at 9:11pm PDT

Over in Twitter-land, it has become a cesspool of many a dickhead, some of whom have such an air of baffling self-importance it just leaves us bored.

Of course there are brilliant, clever, measured and smart tweeters, but then that one (or seven) bad eggs enter the scramble and an entire thread ends up festering with bile and hate.

What started as a brillant way to interact with like-minded people, names you admire and even those you don't (but are interested in their point of view) entering Twitter-ville now can be like walking on thin ice.

If you put an opinion out there that gains some momentum, make sure you leave yourself at least 48 hours to either, 1. cop the flak or 2. respond, like, interact, block or mute. (Aaaah, the mute button can be a truly glorious thing.)

Then there are the trolls. But that's another, much, much bigger issue.

As for Facebook? Well, it's just kind of there. For some of us, its biggest advantage is it tells you whose birthday it is that day. As for hate speech. The uncensored data and 'fake' news that gets through? That us another world again and one that we have all been made aware of over the last few years.

Instagram can be a scroll of overly saturated and filtered tiles flogging something or other or rehashing the same things. But just in a different setting and different frock. Yes, guilty there. I mean, I'm still going to show my social "tribe" somewhere amazing, if I think it's worth it.

But have you seen those Russian click farms? Where a zillion machines are set up to generate fake engagement so some "influencers" can boast their "big numbers"? I mean, WTF?

Anyone who is still fudging their numbers (and it's pretty obvious) is easily found out.

Maybe it's my more simplified life and having learnt to say 'no', but I just don't feel the need or want to waste time going to people's feeds and pages seeing what they are often pretending to be doing.

We all think they are having a fantastic time and totally excellent life. But are they really?

No need for mass panic or alarm. Think of it as liberating - how great not being ‘connected’ for a while . . . #instagram #instadown #facebook #facebookdown https://t.co/48L5iaa9f6

— Melissa Hoyer (@melissahoyer) March 13, 2019

If you are having a really, really good, authentic and happy time, it doesn't usually involve a phone capturing it in your other hand.

Quite seriously, the whole scrolling relentlessly thing is just so incredibly destructive. Happily, I ditched that ages ago. Emotionally, physically and mentally, we've seen how social media reliance, and in many cases, addiction, can affect family, relationships, friends and real, living and breathing lives.

I've actually seen peeps seemingly spend every waking minute scrolling through feeds, like their device is part of their entire being. An extra hand. An extra limb. Another organ.

The problem is even if you are on your phone — actually 'reading' something (which is usually the way many of us consume our news and literature now) — there is this ridiculous assumption that you are checking your social media feeds.

I bet you've had someone say "get off social media" when all you are actually doing is booking an Uber, writing down some notes, grabbing your e-mails or, dare I say, reading a book, the news or checking on your kids, family or friends.

The irony of posting a story like this onto my social media feeds (which no doubt I will) isn't lost on me, but there is a huge difference between work posts and real life posts.

I just get the feeling - and it is one shared by so many friends an peers - there has been an overall malaise toward "real" social media posts.

I'm thoroughly enjoying doing stuff with family and friends: dinners, walks, brekkie, laughing, drinking, chilling, exercising, without every or any movement being captured.

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Wild things. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂🤷🏼‍♀️😂 @sunriseon7 #twinning @sam_armytage #sun7 #animalprint #iwd2019 #samarmytage #pussybow #balanceforbetter

A post shared by Melissa Hoyer (@melissahoyer) on Mar 7, 2019 at 2:05pm PST

As for Insta stories, I am still in awe (well not awe, but am utterly bewildered) when I have seen at least 30 'stories', which are the 15-second videos and can now be longer (spare us!) that appear at the top of Instagram profiles, all in the space of a few hours.

That's 30 'story' intervals over a few hours.

Seriously, are there really those many hours in the day to look at other people's lives while trying to live your own?

For many, our devices are a serious addiction, that are having and will have further repercussions the more and more we rely on them.

How many frocks, sunrises, situations, beaches, drunken moments and mantras can we all possibly want to share the rest of the world?

There has to come a moment where you are actually in the moment and not concocting yet another picture for another story to let everyone know you are having a really good time.

I still love that expression about most of the best stuff we all do'doesn't end up on social media.

And I get the feeling it's something some SM users are starting to live by.

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A jampacked day – taking the compact SUV for a huge spin around Sydney; a visit to sustainable Aussie coffee company @pabloandrustys ; a great session about the integrity of design from my friend @akiraisogawa and a quick bite ... and we have come to the end of our adventure. Thanks for having us @lexusaustralia #car #experienceamazing #mediafamil

A post shared by Melissa Hoyer (@melissahoyer) on Feb 26, 2019 at 9:58pm PST

Keeping a large part of your private life a little mysterious is much more alluring and interesting than throwing it all out there for everyone to see.

It is so incredibly nice to be keep doing real things just in 'the moment', without them happening in order to ramp up a feed.

Because I am not a 24/7 viewer, I am, no doubt, missing out that someone had a birthday two days ago; that a friend has had a baby; or there was a dinner at some new restaurant that I must go to.

But I will eventually get to it. In my own time. Not always in social media quickstep time.

I will never, ever, ever say I am one those people who is quitting social media.

It just isn't going to happen as there are brilliant things you see, read and learn from peeps you follow and from your friends on your feeds.

And so many peeps who dramatically "quit" social media — usually with a mega announcement — often do it as a big grab for attention.

Perhaps the Instagram and Facebook outage during the week may be a sign from the social media god. Would that be Mark Zuckerberg?

I am imagining the despair that was being felt worldwide as the two platforms went into some kind of digital meltdown on Thursday.

To be totally honest, it didn't worry me at all. It was liberating not to be connected for awhile.

As soon as social media starts to feel like work — not including the stuff you post in your real work life — it's probably time to rethink your online priorities.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tinder, Bumble, Snapchat and so it goes — I mean, an entire morning could swan by if you spent time checking every little response or interaction.

You could end up in some kind of drunken digital stupor.

Anyway, there is a time when you step back, partake in real life and your part in it.

To take stock, take a big deep breath and really smell the roses.

And not just the ones posted on the 'gram.

Melissa Hoyer is a journalist and media commentator. She is a regular commentator on Sunrise, The Morning Show and The Daily Edition as well as the go-to radio commentator on all things pop culture and style.