NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Meet the woman who slept with 10,000 men

news.com.au
8 Mar, 2018 06:37 AM5 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

/ Xlibris Publishing

This was one of NZH Lifestyle's top stories for 2017.

Warning: Explicit and distressing content

Gwyneth Montenegro says she has slept with more than 10,000 men.

She first stepped into a brothel at age 21, lured by the prospect of earning up to $1000 for an hour's work. While she doesn't regret her 12 years as a sex worker, Montenegro, 39, says she is glad to be out.

Now, she is trained in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), an approach to personal development and psychotherapy made popular by American motivational speaker Tony Robbins. She teaches women how to "understand" men and get the most out of their relationships.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Here she answers questions about the reality of sex work and what men really want.

How did you first get in to sex work?

"I never wanted to get into the sex industry in the first place. I was 18, I went out to a nightclub and my drink was spiked and I got taken away and gang-raped by 6-8 men - I can't remember exactly how many because I was so out of it.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"It kind of changed my opinion about myself. I felt I wasn't worthy anymore, that I wasn't good enough. I came from a Christian family and I was saving myself for marriage and then I got raped. So I went the other way ... I was very promiscuous. I ended up in the table top dancing industry when I was 19."

How did you transition from stripping to being paid for sex?

"I felt that I'd already crossed a line when I stripped, so it didn't seem that far off at the time.

I thought 'Oh well, if I don't like it, I can always walk out after the first shift'.

Discover more

Opinion

How to discuss something kinky with a partner

13 Feb 07:40 PM
Lifestyle

Confessions of a Kiwi sex worker

13 Mar 03:36 AM
Entertainment

Tony Robbins says women use #MeToo movement to be 'significant'

08 Apr 09:29 PM
Opinion

Lee Suckling: The problem with men who vape

07 May 09:36 PM

"It was totally surreal. Once you've been paid for sex once, you can't take that back. I just found I was able to compartmentalise and switch my feelings off, because I already felt dirty.

"The money was really good and the money is what kept me in the industry for all those years. I don't recommend anyone do it."

How much did you charge?

"I would charge $500-$1000 an hour - that depended on the services. Usually you had to do quite a bit for that.

"I was so young and naive when I started out. I was a good country girl. I was so surprised when someone paid me for sex. I wasn't very experienced and the ladies told me 'Our basic thing is basic sex and a massage'.

"I was naive, I didn't even know what the 'extras' were. Over time I would do other things, like I was able to do kissing and toys and dress ups."

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Did you ever have to do anything really crazy?

"A lot of them don't want all this hardcore kinky sex - that's such a small percentage of the men. I was in the industry for 12 years - that's a long time. But I didn't see a lot of the men that had these sick fantasies. Most of it was just normal sex."

Was it always just about sex or did the men want emotional comfort too?

"It's more than just sex. There's always a psychological motivation for sex, it's not just a physical urge. A lot of the clients I would see would be an hour plus and I mean sure, they wanted the sex, but a big part of my job was just talking.

"There was always some sort of psychological game from it. There was always a feeling of ... you could sort of tell they felt more validated as a man or some of them felt like 'I can control you'. They'd walk out with this strut."

Why do you think men seek out sex workers?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Because that man feels emasculated in his relationship, he wants to feel masculine again.
They're seeking validity for their virility. Virility is very important to men.

"There's also a group of men who want to play the game. They get an intense delight out of controlling women. They get more of a kick out of feeling like they control you, than they do off the actual sex. So a lot of it is from a psychological motivation."

Do you think men have changed over the years?

"I don't want to be so brazen as to just blame feminism for this. However, I think there is a part to play where men do feel emasculated. They don't know 'should I open the door?' 'Will I get yelled at?'

"A lot of the time the grip is they don't know what it is to be a man anymore. They've lost their way. That's what I've seen in my clients."

What advice can you give to women who say they're baffled or completely confused by the behaviour of men?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"Detach the emotions - look at it from the outside. The man will give you all the cues from his behaviour and his relationships.

"You'll be able to pick out if this person is going to be a long-term thing or not really the right fit for you."

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

My friend stopped talking to me. What should I do?

30 Jun 02:08 AM
Lifestyle

Aussies pick fresh fruit and veg as top supermarket aisle

30 Jun 02:08 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

How to potty-train a coworker

30 Jun 01:25 AM

Why wallpaper works wonders

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

My friend stopped talking to me. What should I do?

My friend stopped talking to me. What should I do?

30 Jun 02:08 AM

Losing a close friend can feel disorienting and leave us adrift.

Aussies pick fresh fruit and veg as top supermarket aisle

Aussies pick fresh fruit and veg as top supermarket aisle

30 Jun 02:08 AM
Premium
How to potty-train a coworker

How to potty-train a coworker

30 Jun 01:25 AM
Premium
How exactly do weight-loss drugs work – and which ones are best?

How exactly do weight-loss drugs work – and which ones are best?

30 Jun 12:00 AM
A new care model to put patients first
sponsored

A new care model to put patients first

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP