Lounge lizards, crazed cats, bats in the bra ...

TERI FITSELL reckons all these animal shows on TV can drive you crackers.

According to the poll in yesterday's Herald, New Zealanders are nuts about dogs and cats. Maybe that's why our screens are crowded with programmes like Animal Hospital (TV One, about 3 pm daily), People's Vets (TV3, 7.30 tonight) and even Vets in Practice on Sky's Animal Planet, a 24-hour-a day channel devoted entirely to our creature comforters.

Last night, these shows were joined by Barking Mad on TV One, a British series looking at the mental rather than physical well-being of our over-anxious animals.

It promises to find inner peace for your irritable iguana, deranged dog or anxiety-ridden alpaca (no kidding, these were all cases in last night's show).

What is not clear is whether the title refers to the pets or their owners - or to misquote George Orwell, "Four legs good, two legs mad."

This certainly held true in the cases of both the tree-hanging retriever (which accidentally broke its owner's ankle) and the iguana with attitude (which was terrorising a family of five).

During the iguana segment we appeared to have stumbled into an episode of Changing Rooms, as the hapless family of what was literally a lounge lizard cheerfully allowed the animal behaviourist to makeover a large part of their house into an ideal iguana home.

The lizard's problem, it seemed, was he had nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide ... and that was why he was terrorising the kids. Simple.

As for the woman with bats in her bra, is it uncharitable to ponder if she had a few bats in the belfry too?

Barking Mad is cheerfully presented by Mark Evans and Philippa Forrester, a lass clearly not as animal crackers as some of the subjects.

When the owner of a spitting, growling, howling scratching, biting Persian cat said, mistily, that what she really wanted was a "cuddle kitten," Forrester was left helpless with mirth.

Far more serious is People's Vets, which looks at the work done at Britain's People's Dispensary for Sick Animals, and Animal Hospital, which is based at the RSPCA's Harnsworth Hospital in London.

Both concentrate on veterinary practices which provide low-cost or free animal care.

Inevitably, this means both institutions are crowded and the vets overworked. This is certainly true of the People's Vets. Past episodes have looked at new vet Mark's baptism by fire as he's coped with 16-hour-plus solo shifts through the night, which have left him both physically and mentally drained, and without a social life.

Animal Hospital, introduced by television's very own furry friend, Rolf Harris, focuses on the pets' ailments and to a lesser extent on their owners.

There was Polo, the cat with a hole in her side, who also was no cuddle kitten. Not only was she given to taking on rottweilers - one of which had given her the hole - but she made it clear she was keen to have a go at the vet too.

Leather and then chain gauntlets were brought out to get close enough to jab a sedative needle in her rump, and while she was under her paws were bandaged. Not because they were injured but, as a wary vet explained, "entirely for our protection, not hers."

And with the more serious side of animal care come those inevitable moments when one of the creatures can't be saved.

The biggest heart-render this week was the beautiful fox who'd got her head caught in some railings. She died on the operating table, prompting tears from Rolf Harris and from most of my household too.

It's the truth ... and it's hard handling the truth about cats and dogs.