Louise Thompson: The question to ask when something doesn't feel right

'Your mind can mislead you with trickster thoughts that are not true.' Photo / 123RF

Opinion

You know that feeling, that nagging feeling that something is a little off. It might be the job, the relationship, a friendship or a family thing. But you have an underlying feeling of unease.

We have all felt it from time to time. That "something's not quite right here" feeling. That "I just can't put my finger on it" feeling . Living with that feeling day after day can become debilitating. That nagging feeling that something is not as it should be.
Paying attention to that feeling is really important.

It's our gut instinct whispering away to us. It may be whispering that the time has come to move onto pastures new at work. Or that yes, that friend is indeed lying to you. Or that relationship has run its course. Or that partner is having an affair. Or that something is afoot at the company and a round of redundancies is a-coming. Or that you know, yes, you are actually being excluded from that friendship group: you are not imagining it.

Our gut instinct or intuition is a powerful force for our own good. It moves on the side of good and truth and it's always working towards your highest good. It's a pure message of truth delivered straight from our body. You can feel it. You can feel it in your body. It's not a thought. It's a feeling. And that difference is crucial. That's the difference between gut instinct and paranoia. It is not a thought stream of worry and stress, it's a physical sensation. You can feel that something is not right.

Remember this: your mind can mislead you with trickster thoughts that are not true. Your body however has no such tricks: it speaks with clarity and purity. Always. When your body speaks it always speaks the truth, which is why it's always worth listening. Except we don't. Most of the time we really, really don't. We rationalize the feeling away with our thoughts. "She's just under pressure at the moment, everything is fine between us" "They will look after me, I know they would put me in the loop if something big were happening to my department" "He would never lie and cheat, he is way too loving and honourable" "It was just an oversight they didn't invite me, it doesn't mean anything".

So talk it away we will. We will talk over the gut instinct because we don't want our gut to be right! Of course we don't. Then there would be an uncomfortable truth and situation to face. So it is comforting to explain away that feeling with words.
Explaining it away doesn't make it any less true, so the nagging feeling that something is not right remains. Our intuition keeps whispering away that the job isn't right, or whatever it may be, until eventually we will listen.

It's easier in the long run of course to face it head on, it's just that mostly, we don't want to. Because the truth is either inconvenient, deeply hurtful, scary or costly. Or all four.

Being brave is part of the deal. Being brave enough to listen to our intuition beca our intuition and gut are also always operating as an inner guidance system, steering us in the direction of the shiny beautiful things that are right for us. It's as much a positive compass as a negative one: but that's a column for another day.

For today I encourage you to get quiet with your guiding force of intuition. Yes, you have it too. Even you who say you are not that intuitive! You do. Get quiet for a moment and listen to your gut. Listen to the whispers of your body. What is it telling you? What do you really know?

• Is it time to quit the job?
• Is it time to confront your spouse?
• Is it time for a heart to heart with a friend?
• Is it time to set up your own business?
• Is it time to leave that group?

These things might be scary, deeply hurtful, complicated, costly. That doesn't make them wrong. Let your gut instinct speak. What does it tell you? What do you really know?