Why do we so often take our complaint somewhere other than the source? It's strange when you think about it, given that it's only the source who potentially has a shot at fixing it.
Because its risk-free that's why. It does not require us to step up and be courageous enough to have a tough conversation or take tough action to schedule a meeting to take the relevant person to task. It's easier to gossip in the cafe than risk offending the nice barista over the disappointing cake. It's easier to vent with the girls/boys than have an uncomfy convo with the spouse. Complaining feels like relief because it's stress- and risk-free. Essentially, complaining to people other than the source keeps us well within our comfort zone.
The real question then is do we want to feel comfortable more than we want the situation resolved? Or, do we want the situation resolved more than we want to feel comfortable?
If the answer is to choose comfort over resolution, then we will be stuck in the loop of complaining for much time to come. And that's okay - if that is indeed what we want. Stop holding out for a magical resolution or for things to just magically fix themselves and stay comfortable with the venting and the problem itself.
However, if we decide we want the situation resolved and are prepared to feel uncomfortable temporarily in order to achieve that, then a whole new world opens up to us:
We accept a degree of risk, if we speak up, request what we want, demand what we want, give options, change our communication, try something new, try an alternative, leave. If we take our complaint to the actual place it has any chance of being resolved - it will require varying degrees of courage, but the only way out of a niggling ongoing complaint situation is through - you have to take it to the place where you can get resolution. And that is the source.
For sure, use others as a sounding board, as a sense check, if that feels good. A second opinion can be really useful. But if you find you are complaining about the same thing again and again, it's time to take it to where it actually belongs.
Be brave. Take a risk. Ask for efficiency. Ask for respect. Ask for bonus air miles. Ask for a raise. Ask for fresh-baked cake. The real complaints department can help you with all of that. You've just got to ask.
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