Louise Thompson: Serve from the saucer

If we give from the overflow on our saucer, not our cup, everyone is better served. When we have more to give, we can give with abandon. Photo / Getty Images

Are you one of life's born givers? I suspect you are. And, much as you get joy from lifting up and loving the people around you, I also bet that sometimes you can get depleted, tired or resentful, or feel just a teensy bit taken for granted. If that sounds like you, then I have something for you today. How can life's natural givers find that elusive balance of give and take?

Firstly, please know that dialling down our natural instinct to please people is not about us becoming selfish biiiiatches, it's much more about knowing that when we consciously redress the balance, we actually have more to give but it comes from a different place - a place of service, not a place of guilt or resentment. So much better!

A concept I really admire on this is from author and speaker Lisa Nichols:

Don't keep serving people and giving, giving, giving from your cup. If you do that your cup gets empty real quick. Cue resentment, fatigue and depletion. You should fill your cup first. (You need what's in your cup. Need.) So you fill your cup, with things that replenish you. That might be exercise, or silence, nature, cross-stitch, bedtime stories, baking, boxing, colouring-in, clearing out, skiing or snoozing.

So you consciously fill your cup with things that lift your spirit and energise your body. And then you fill it a little more until it's literally overflowing.

And then you joyfully give to everyone else from the overflow. You give from the saucer, not the cup. Beautiful, yes?

When we keep giving from our own cup, we are giving away what we actually need. When we serve from the overflow we are giving from a place of abundance. The way we serve others and the world is elevated from that place. We have much more to give, and the supply is more stable. It comes from a place of plenty and not shortage, generosity rather than resentment.

Figure out what and who are your cup-fillers. Where do you find engagement, love, energy, support, and feel your cup filling? What elevates and replenishes you and leaves you ready to give with abandon? Where do you find yourself lost in the flow of the moment? When does time disappear? Which people leave you feeling high? What stimulates you? Where are you when you feel the knot of tension in your shoulders unwind? Who makes you belly-laugh?