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Home / Lifestyle

Living with depression: 'invisible beast constantly clawing at you'

By Claudia Tanner
Daily Mail·
20 Jan, 2018 11:27 PM6 mins to read

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Interview with author Brent Williams on his comic-style memoir Out of the Woods - A Journey through Depression and Anxiety.

An "invisible beast constantly clawing at your back" is how Larry Meyler describes his depression.

The 38-year-old Irishman first fell into its grip after the death of his mother when he was a young boy, and has since suffered bouts of low mood and anxiety. Losing his beloved father a few years ago was also a huge knock.

Now he has written his first book, Being Brave, sharing his experience of having made the decision to leave everything behind and travel across the world in a bid to conquer his demons, reports the Daily Mail.

It has won praise from a host of celebrities and social media users, with actress Joanna Lumley describing it as 'utterly gripping' while reality TV star Vicky Pattison said his memoir is 'incredibly inspiring & I suggest you give it a look!'

According to statistics depression will affect one in five of at some point in their lives.

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Anyone can get low, but someone is said to be suffering from depression when these feelings don't go away quickly or become so bad they interfere with their everyday life.

Mr Meyler's mother Joan died suddenly when he was just six years old from a pulmonary embolism. Then in 2014, dad Tommy suffered a stroke and heart attack.

He says he knew that he had to "change his life before it slips away" – and refused to allow the condition to take over his life any more.

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His book is billed as "one boy's brave journey across the globe to save himself, with nothing but a broken heart, a backpack and balls of steel".

"It has engulfed me at times,' he said. 'It's sting is never far off."

Speaking to The Sun, he reveals what living with depression is really like and how he "kicked this monster right in the balls".

Depression makes you feel like life is a curse

"It's as if an invisible and unrelenting monster is constantly clawing at your back," said Mr Meyler.

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He admits that depression has made him feel "totally and utterly exhausted".

He added: "It's like trying to walk forward in a blasting blizzard of wind and hailstones, unable to see straight, being pushed and dragged backwards."

Explaining that at it's worst, it can make you feel like "the gift of life is a curse" and you'd be better off out of it, he says he put a plan in place to deal with this feeling.

He says he didn't see it as running away from his problems, more so finding the time and space to get to the root of them and understand his feelings.

Larry Meyler has struggled with depression since his mother died when he was six. Photo / Instagram
Larry Meyler has struggled with depression since his mother died when he was six. Photo / Instagram

Alarm bells should ring if your loved one goes quiet

Mr Meyler points out that he is not medically trained – but speaking from his own experience, warns that silence is a sign that something isn't quite right.

They may be shying away from social situations and he explains how such behaviour can be misinterpreted as people can become offended and think they've done something to offend the person.

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He says that many people suffering depression to open up and talk to someone – especially those close to them – out of embarrassment.

Just being there is enough

Sometimes you don't need to say anything, just being there for someone battling depression is what's important.

It's priceless knowing you have someone to just listen, someone to try to be objective while also wanting to protect you.

Even providing informative links, inspiring quotes, and article can help.

Just someone being there with an ear, a kind word or a hug can be very powerful in helping put the wheels in motion to get you to open up.

Don't tell someone to "just get over it"

Mr Meyler says the worst thing you can do is expect a loved one experiencing depression to just pull themselves together.

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"Depression goes hand-in-hand with embarrassment and shame, especially in men, there's a preconception that it's a weakness," he explained.

He says that living with the condition is "more than just the blues" – people's problems are complex and unique.

What sufferers needs is "no judgement, just reassurance and knowing someone has you're back," he said.

Couldn't be prouder of Larry Meyler for being brave enough to write about grief & depression for inspirational @BeingBraveBook #BeingBrave pic.twitter.com/c3nEifwCGU

— JAMES INGHAM (@TheJamesIngham) May 16, 2017

Depression doesn't define you

Despite how engulfing depression can be, Mr Meyler said he has come to realise that it it "isn't the be-all and end-all".

He said he has realised that it doesn't define him, although his mind tricks him into believing it does.

He uses the metaphor of the Wizard of Oz – where an entire city believe Oz is an all-powerful God but once unmasked is just a desperate old man.

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Thinking of depression in that way can reduce its negative effects on you, he advises.

Loneliness and depression can be a killer combination

Mr Meyler says that depression makes people feel that they don't have anybody.

"But there is always somebody, whether it be a stranger at the end of a helpline, a work colleague, an online forum, it doesn't matter, what matters is that you reach out and know you deserve better," he said.

He also urges sufferers that if they are struggling in a job, a relationship, a situation that is making them worse, to remove themselves from the situation to give themselves a chance.

Mr Meyler's book Being Brave: My Journey Through The Chaos Of Loss And Depression is available on Amazon for £9.91 (NZD $18.87).

WHERE TO GET HELP:

If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call 111.

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If you need to talk to someone, the following free helplines operate 24/7:

DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354
NEED TO TALK? Call or text 1737
SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 or text 234

There are lots of places to get support. For others, click here.

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