Lee Suckling: We need to support same sex curiosity

"We wouldn't raise children in a society where being straight was expected of them, but rather, would tell them about all the types of relationships people have." Photo / Getty Images

I have a very clear vision of what an ideal world looks like when it comes to the sexual orientations of future generations.

We wouldn't raise children in a society where being straight was expected of them, but rather, would tell them from school age about all the types of relationships people have.

As children start to develop crushes on each other they would not have any idea of "right" and "wrong"; instead, they would be set off in the world to develop feelings for whomever they chose. Completely regardless of gender.

The majority of society would still end up as heterosexual adults, I'm sure. Yet we'd remove the stigma from experimenting with the same sex in our formative years.

Without shame attached to same-sex attraction, I believe all people – no matter the sexual orientation they eventually discover is true to them – could entertain romantic and sexual urges without preconceptions.

We would all be given the best chance of knowing who we are (and being comfortable with that) sooner, which paves the way for a more stable adult life.

When I was in the final years of high school, I remember it became quite fashionable for girls to make out with other girls. It felt like a bit of a put-up job, though: something to do at parties to titillate an audience.

Bogusness of it all aside, I would have liked to applaud the girls who experimented with the same sex, except I remember their caveat. I once overheard a few of them say, "but it's only fun because it's girls. If two guys did it, it would be gross".

This is something I've written about before when it comes to the fragility of masculinity, and needless to say that single comment kept me – a gay teenager – in the closet a lot longer that I might've otherwise been.

Back to my original point, though. The seeds are there in young adults' lives to be curious about the same sex, and society needs to stop telling them this is devious.

I suspect a lot of people of every age have pondered, even for passing moments, what it would be like to experiment with another woman or another man. Some just need the space to appreciate someone of the same sex as attractive. What I'd like to tell anyone out there with such thoughts is this: wanting to experiment doesn't "make you gay". I know that's your biggest concern.

You might find out you have homosexual inclinations – and you can label those (or not) as you choose – but wondering about experimentation, and maybe acting on it, is nothing to fear. Perhaps you'll discover same-sex relations are just "not for you"... and you can be a confident heterosexual for the rest of your life. Or, you may realise that gender attraction isn't as black-or-white as we're taught to believe.

Let me run over some other reasons why you should feel free to experiment with the same sex. First of all, it makes you understand your own body really well. You are given an appreciation of what you were born with, and also the points of pleasure you mightn't otherwise know about. You learn a lot more about touch and sensitivity when the body you're with is the same as your own.

Experimenting with another person of your own gender is also something we usually do when a lot of trust is placed in the other person. Often they are a close friend, the desire is mutual, and both of you are complete novices. This can create a safe space whereby you can go at your own pace without any pressure, and constant verbal re-evaluation. Such intimacy might even strengthen your friendship bond.

You're also almost guaranteed to become more open-minded when you act on a curiosity towards the same sex. However it turns out, trying something you're never done before enables you to understand other people's lives more. If given the opportunity, the chance to become more socially liberal and unprejudiced is something that really can't hurt our world right now.

Got a question about sex, sexuality, and all things related? Send it to lee.suckling@gmail.com and Let's Talk About Sex.