Leah Hamilton and her husband have been married for 12 years. Photo / Twitter
Leah Hamilton and her husband have been married for 12 years. Photo / Twitter
A Kiwi mum-of-two living in Berlin has revealed how when she fell in love with another mother at the kindergarten gate, her husband supported her throughout the relationship - and breakup.
In an article for Insider, Leah Hamilton, who is a writer and editor with work published by The Spinoff,shared that she identifies as queer and entered a non-monogamous relationship with her husband when the pair met at university.
She describes her husband as “a quiet, sensitive guy, and he won my heart with his kindness and thoughtful demeanor.”
From the outset, Hamilton says the couple’s relationship didn’t follow traditional constructs. She was also dating another woman at the time and says it was “the first time I had ever dated people who accepted both my sexuality and my desire for non-monogamy.”
Eventually Hamilton and her then-boyfriend got engaged, moved in together and were married. The non-monogamous grounds of their relationship continued, writes Hamilton. “We even made out with other people on our wedding night.”
But she says the arrival of their two children put their non-monogamous habits on hold - until Hamilton’s husband got a job in Berlin and the family moved there.
She says the culture and lifestyle in the German city showed her “having children was no barrier to having a good time.”
Eventually, writes Hamilton, she became friends with a woman she met at her children’s kindergarten and a romance blossomed - which her husband fully supported.
“Why not”, he told Hamilton when she revealed her feelings for the other woman and that there was “more than just a physical chemistry”.
And so she embarked on a relationship with another married woman, who had told Hamilton, “your eyes are so beautiful”.
Leah Hamilton embarked on a two-year relationship with another married woman while being fully supported by her husband. Photo / Twitter
Recalling their romance, she says the couple enjoyed “swimming in lakes, biking through the forest, and partying until 4am.”
As time went on, the two families spent time together too, sharing meals and childcare for the course of the two-year relationship.
Eventually, writes Hamilton, despite their “heartfelt connection”, she and her girlfriend were “ultimately unbalancing” and the relationship came to an end. Her husband was there for her then too.
She recalls that she “cried everyday for weeks”, often confined to her bed as her husband cared for her, their children and the “household more than usual”.
Months later, Hamilton says she was able to reconnect with her ex-girlfriend and describes her as one of her best friends now.
And of her husband’s continued support, she writes that it allowed her to feel “empowered to be myself and to experience life in all its fullness, including the soaring heights of new love and the plummeting depths of heartbreak. I always say that my husband is the best person I know, and after 12 years together, I still believe it.”
