Jasmine and Damian Ngati said fly-in, fly-out work was amazing until it wasn't. Photo / Jasmine and Damian Ngati
Jasmine and Damian Ngati said fly-in, fly-out work was amazing until it wasn't. Photo / Jasmine and Damian Ngati
A Kiwi couple living on the Gold Coast say the toll of fly-in, fly-out work nearly cost them their marriage – so Damian Ngati quit his A$300,000 ($365, 910) job to save the relationship.
“On the outside, it looked like we had everything,” Jasmine Ngati said on a TikTok post,where the Australian-based New Zealanders shared their story.
“We had the money, the lifestyle, we ate at beautiful restaurants. We took those holidays. We even got to build our dream home.”
She said the reality at home meant shouldering the responsibilities of daily life solo for long stretches while her husband faced physical and psychological pressures of underground tunnelling at a remote site, the Daily Mail reported.
Damian Ngati said a sense of obligation to provide for his family kept him pushing on, regardless of the personal cost.
“Everyone sees the money, the security,” he said, alongside his wife on social media. “I worked my way up from the bottom and built a life I thought my family really needed because as a man you’re taught your job is to provide, so you just keep going.”
Jasmine and Damian Ngati are sharing their story to help others manage the strain of fly-in, fly-out work. Photo / Jasmine and Damian Ngati
The Ngatis say they didn’t fully grasp the weight of that pressure until their relationship was on the verge of collapse.
“The moment that cemented it was a FaceTime call,” Jasmine Ngati said, the Daily Mail reported.
“Damian could hear it in my voice before he could even see my face. When he saw me, he knew. I looked empty. Lost. Like I had nothing left in me. Without me saying a single word, he understood he was losing his wife.”
That evening, Damian Ngati decided he would quit his job.
“It wasn’t an easy decision and not just because of the money,” he said, the Daily Mail reported.
“Walking away from a trade and a career I spent 15 years building from the ground up. That work was tied to who I am, my sense of worth, purpose. Giving that up took courage.”
Since stepping away from fly-in, fly-out work, the couple, who have four children, have been redefining what wealth really means.
“A little girl who had known dad leaving every two weeks for her entire life, who had cried at fly-outs for as long as she could remember, was transformed,” Jasmine Ngati told the Daily Mail.
“The day he walked in for school pick-up and she realised he wasn’t leaving again, the look on her face was something no pay cheque could ever match.”
The Ngatis are now sharing their experience on social media, offering other couples advice, including a 48-hour relationship reset guide to help partners reconnect after time apart.
