KEY POINTS:
Don't dip your pen in the company ink.
It's a cliche I've never quite understood.
Not that we have company ink anymore, but if we did, surely it would be for employee use?
It's not like I bring my own biros to work...
I digress.
The point is: Workplace affairs - yay or
nay?
Once frowned upon and entirely taboo, they are now fairly commonplace.
If Wikipedia is to be believed - which it really shouldn't be - 15 to 20 per cent of couples meet at school or work.
In the Herald offices, I'd estimate the figure to be double that.
Indeed, one of the reasons I've never written about employee relations before is quite simply because it's a bit of a given that colleagues hook up.
What is apparently not a given, however, is how workmate pairings behave at work and just what is acceptable.
A reader emailed me some time ago, about a couple from her work, who have begun dating.
As she said, cool, good for them. What is not cool, however, is said couple's open displays of affection, particularly in the staff lunchroom.
"It's incredibly appetite-suppressing eating a sandwich when you can hear kissing noises and sighs at the table behind you," she writes.
"I understand from what I know of them that this is their first relationship so they may not be familiar with social etiquette around PDA.
"It's incredibly uncomfortable for me and other workmates. What can we do?"
Well, you've done it. Write to me, I'll blog about it and you can forward them the link.
Or just throw stuff at them and tell them to get a room.
If that approach lacks the required subtlety and you are genuinely distressed by the situation, perhaps you could say something to your/their boss?
Even if it is their first relationship, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that pashing in the staff room is completely inappropriate.
If they're old enough to have full-time jobs, they're old enough to know better.
If, as you say, they are in the heady throes of their first love affair, there's a good chance they are completely oblivious to their nauseating behaviour.
Perhaps an "accidental" misdirected email would do the trick.
You should of course be grateful that they are only kissing in the lunchroom.
A friend, Tash, has never quite recovered from walking in on her boss, half naked, fondling a fellow workmate.
She was unaware they were seeing each other. As was his wife.
Compared to Tash's predicament of keeping her boss' affair a secret or risk losing her job, you are getting off positively lightly.
Still, I sympathise. Kissing colleagues are not cool.