Kate Stewart: Being on trend simply distasteful

Just because something is "trending", it doesn't make it right, let alone tasteful.

Take the current trend of a marriage proposal ... placing the ring in a stoned-out avocado. Cheap sons of bitches! If you really wanted to impress, surely you would go the whole hog and employ the use of the $10 cauliflower or an equally expensive, artisanal, pound of butter.

How impressive can a scuddy avocado be? Green, oily mush encased in a rough, alligator-like skin. Mmm, romance perso nified.

I'm not swooning. I'm wishing I was wearing adult diapers, though, because I'm ready to wet myself with laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of such an unoriginal and absurd gesture.

Trying to choke your prospective fiance, by placing the ring in her champers, was one thing but sticking it in a visually unappealing and very seasonal fruit is quite simply tacky beyond belief.

Honestly, what type of disturbed mind comes up with such an appalling idea? An unyet diagnosed mental illness, that will undoubtedly be defined as the "hottest current syndrome" must be to blame.

But is it any worse than the "trend" of announcing your baby's sex with the use of a horrifically, non-gender neutral coloured cake?

You insensitive sexist pigs ... shame on you.

The human lives growing inside of you must be wishing they could join the #metoo campaign, for harassing them into a predetermined gender.

One can only hope that social services don't turn up on your doorstep to remove the child, shortly after birth, on the grounds of emotional child abuse.

And what woman doesn't want to feel desired and hotly pursued by a prospective partner? But just what will that entail in the future? A memorandum of understanding, written permission ... a legal contract of some kind?

Ridiculous right? Hell no, this is exactly the climate we have created and allowed.

I'd be very surprised if there's a relationship, onscreen or otherwise, that doesn't feel the need to employ the evidential safety of a constantly functioning body-cam, that can quickly aid in the dismissal of allegations of sexual impropriety.

And that's assuming that there are even any male actors and directors, left untarnished, in the industry.

More from Kate Stewart:
Kate Stewart: Strength in numbers
Kate Stewart: Guilty till proven innocent - everyone's a judge and jury
Kate Stewart: Taking a stand could do more harm than good
Kate Stewart: Street's rubbish service is truly rubbish

Let's not forget the talk-shows ... you know, the ones where all the guests are more than happy to make their entrance, intimately trading kisses and/or embraces with hosts and fellow guests, alike, but then take offence to a friendly pat on the knee.

Will they, in future, be wheeled out on Hannibal Lecter style trolley's, complete, with muzzles, before being placed into individual perspexed compartments on the famous respective couch, to avoid any inappropriate contact?

It's madness and utter bullsh*t.

Which brings me to another point. Why aren't the adoring female fans in the audience, frequently shown screaming, near hysterical and jumping out of their seats(and clothes) with sheer excitement, ever labelled as sexual harassers or objectifiers?

A man wolf-whistles ... he's a pervert. A woman all but throws herself at the sight of a male celebrity crush and no one bats a bloody eyelid. Equal rights?

I remember when it was deemed trendy to wear real animal fur, smoke cigarettes and consume alcohol during pregnancy.

Hindsight's a wonderful thing ... and in some cases a luxury that we can ill afford.
We need to start doing what is right - not what is trending. We naively assume that the popularity of something automatically makes it acceptable.

These latest instances of trending via the ironic trend of global sharing and connectivity provide a glaring picture of just how disconnected, from the real world, we have become.

Your old-fashioned and unpopular feedback is welcome: investik8@gmail.com