Kate Hawkesby: Should you charge family members for attending Christmas Day lunch?

It's better to cough up for Christmas kai than fall out with family over food. Photo / 123RF

COMMENT: With Christmas just 25 days away, plans are starting to be made around family get togethers and meals.

It's an expensive and often stressful time. And so this week the question's been raised as to whether you should charge your family members for attending Christmas Day lunch.

A woman in the UK revealed her mother in law wanted to charge NZ$32 per head for the family meal.

No doubt about it - feeding the hordes at Christmas can be costly.
Not everyone throws a few saussies on the barbie like we do here Down Under.
For some, it's the full traditional turkey with all the trimmings and that's big bucks.

So do you charge?
It's pretty blunt to ask for money, even though you can't argue the expense is justified.

What I don't get is why you wouldn't ask everyone to chip in with a plate instead?

Surely families can split the responsibility and financial burden by divvying up the meal. Someone brings the veges, someone brings a salad, someone brings some wine. Because not only is the Chrissie feast costly, it's also hard work.

Why should one person slave over a hot stove all day while everyone else sits around sipping the rose?

Personally, if someone was offering to cook all of Christmas lunch, from scratch, on their own, I'd be more than happy to pay. I'd be grateful for the gesture and completely understand the cost and work associated with doing it.

Equally, I wouldn't expect if you're going to Christmas lunch or dinner that you don't contribute at least something.

The $32 being asked for by this mum seems reasonable for what she was providing, and certainly a lot cheaper than Christmas lunch or dinner in a restaurant would cost.

Though it doesn't sit well with many people to be asked outright for money for a family meal, it was obviously a practical reality for this woman. It could also be a signal that she doesn't really fancy having to cook Christmas lunch.

She may have been sending a not so subtle message. But offence was taken by her family who thought the request was rude.

Does that stem from our juvenile belief that everything provided by family should be free?

Which throws up another important question, do we treat family worse than we'd treat friends?

Do we expect more of them? 'Oh they're family, they should be providing it'.
Should they though? The cost is still the same.

So if you haven't already offered, and you're asked to contribute to the family lunch this Christmas, I'd say it's better to cough up, than fall out with family over food.