KEY POINTS:
What a fine job they've made of the Stamford Plaza lobby. The gloomy and cavernous mausoleum of red granite, reminiscent of an airport in a totalitarian state, has gone.
Instead, the colour scheme is light but warm, clever use of screens and levels has broken up the vast
expanse, the structural pillars, dressed in a scuffed plaster that looks like marble, are dramatic without being intimidating.
The happy-hour prices offered to compensate for the fact that the rest of the place is a building site meant the lobby was packed on the Tuesday we turned up.
We headed straight for Kabuki only to be stopped at the door and told our table wasn't ready. This was puzzling since we had arrived a fashionable 10 minutes late and we were now being told we had 10 minutes to wait.
The number and variety of staff who then proceeded to seek our drink orders inclined me to share the Blonde's suspicion that the delay was a tactic to increase the bar takings. I'm still not sure that was untrue but, as we were ushered to our table, I saw that we were waiting for the rest of the audience - and the star performer.
Teppanyaki, as you probably know, is a style of Japanese cuisine in which everything is cooked, barbecue style, at the table on an iron griddle.
The hotplate is surrounded by diners seated in a horseshoe formation, and integral to the process is a showy performance by the chef who twirls condiment jars the way a cocktail barman spins bottles, all the while flashing and clashing his sharpened steel spatulas for maximum visual and aural effect. Flames flare. Chefs loudly dare diners to catch eggs.
It's not exactly trad Japanese: teppanyaki originated in the 1940s as a sort of east-west fusion before that word was applied to food. It helped Japanese cuisine penetrate the post-war US, where teppanyaki restaurants are called Japanese steakhouses. But as this restaurant's name suggests (Kabuki is a style of Japanese theatre), the performance is just as important as the meal.
The place has a la carte choices and six set menus, named after flowers, which range from $40 to $97. The Blonde and I went for one de luxe option (the Pohutukawa, which includes venison, lobster and scallops as big as a baby's fist) and a more modestly priced one (salmon, chicken, sirloin).
These delicacies were cooked and served in a delicious procession, while waitresses brought steamed rice, miso soup, pickles, dipping sauces and sake.
It's all very exciting and was a winter-warming experience as the storm that hammered Northland in the middle of the month raged outside. But it all seemed more style than substance. Perhaps our chef, who rejoiced in the name Kevin and mercifully spared us the egg-lobbing, was applying his different condiments with a subtlety that eluded my palate, but it looked like the same sloshing and sprinkling rituals every time and the tastes lacked variety. The steak and venison were juicy and tender - although the delicate taste of the lobster quite disappeared under the onslaught of seasoning and it's hard to believe anyone would subject excellent ingredients to canola oil.
In the end, it's probably for people who prize having fun above eating excellent food.
You can't argue with that.
THE BILL
$195 for two
Sake (2 x 275ml) $46
Botan $52
Pohutukawa $97
Vegetarians: Tolerated.
Watch out for: Flames and flying eggs.
Sound check: Intermittently rowdy.
Bottom line: More floor show than fine dining
Stamford Plaza Hotel, Lower Albert St.
Ph: 912 3020.
www.stamford.com.au
Lunch: Tuesday-Friday, noon to 3pm; dinner: Tuesday-Saturday, 6pm to 10pm
- Detours, HoS