By EWAN McDONALD
(Herald rating: * *)
Tom Leezak (Ashton Kutcher, That 70s Show, Dude Where's My Car?) is a sports nut who gives out the traffic reports on a small-time radio station. He really, like really, wants to be a sports reporter. Sarah (Brittany Murphy) has dropped out of her rich
family.
They meet when Tim's football lands on her head at the beach. Cue: whirlwind relationship, meeting with her snooty family, wedding, honeymoon in Europe.
It's, like, so, y'know, cute. They try to have sex on the plane. They rent a funny little car in France.
They stay in a romantic castle in the Alps but when they get to Venice they have to stay in a dump (like, who doesn't? Have you tried to pay for a hotel in Venice with a Kiwi credit card?), her family intervene and they move to the Ritz of the Canals.
Old boyfriend Peter Prentiss (hers, not his: Christian Kane) mysteriously arrives on the scene (like, who never saw that coming?). The unhappy couple fight, fly home and break up.
Back in America, Tom realises how much he loves Sarah and goes to her folks' house to get her back (like, who never saw that coming?). The family won't let him in, but Sarah sees his impassioned plea over the video surveillance monitor.
Possibly the worst film of the millennium (though there's some competition for that title), with every ridiculous plot-device that a century of Hollywood scriptwriters have used before, gross jokes, bad slapstick, and (this phrase is not original but I wish I'd thought of it first) Hallmark-level love language.
Tell ya what, though? Betcha it's one of the biggest renting movies at your local store. Especially if the neighbourhood demographic is skewed towards teenage females.
DVD features: movie (95min); widescreen and full screen versions; commentary with director Shawn Levy, Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy; deleted scenes with optional director's commentary; Comedy Central episode; Making of ... ; trailers; picture gallery.
