NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Jana Hocking: The downside of dating younger men

By Jana Hocking
news.com.au·
11 Aug, 2022 08:11 PM6 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Over a nice bottle of wine Jana realised the much younger man wasn't for her. Photo / Instagram @janahocking

Over a nice bottle of wine Jana realised the much younger man wasn't for her. Photo / Instagram @janahocking

Opinion

OPINION:

I think it would be safe to say I've had a full and robust love life. In fact, when people ask me what my "type" is, I struggle to answer.

You see, I've dated white collar, blue collar, tall, dark and handsome, blondies, bearded. You name it, I've properly gone on a date with it.

So when I heard the news this week, along with the rest of the world, that Kim Kardashian, 41, had split with Pete Davidson, 28, it got me pondering on age gap relationships.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

I've shared my experience with dating an older bloke before, but when I heard rumours that Kim had broken up with Pete because of his immaturity it reminded me of my own dalliance with a younger man.

I had just turned 30, and in the midst of heartbreak, had decided to pack up shop and move up the coast for a fresh start, and a new career in radio. Having never really ventured far from Sydney during my adult life, this spur of the moment decision suddenly hit me when I found myself alone in a new (much smaller) city, and rather friendless.

I said yes to every after-work drinks invite I got, in a bid to make new friends. Romance was far from my radar due to a still rather broken heart, and thankfully most of the guys I worked with at the time were gay.

Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson have split up. Photo / Instagram @kimkardashian
Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson have split up. Photo / Instagram @kimkardashian

That was, until the radio station hosted a party for a visiting pop star, and we all went out for far too many drinks afterwards.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

One of the promotional staff sidled up to me at the bar, his job was to hand out icy cold cans of Coke at listener events and do other various odd jobs to help promote the radio station to listeners. It's an entry level job into media, and usually filled with uni students, which he was.

After having had a couple of beers-of-courage he bumped hips with me and proclaimed, "you're hot".

I laughed and gave him a once-over. Sure, he was actually quite gorgeous, and if I was in uni I probably would have gone gaga over him, but as I took in his big blue eyes and sweet face, I decided that he was roughly eight or 10 years younger than me and that was far outside my age range.

I flirted with him for a little while, as I have a habit of doing by nature, and then avoided him for the rest of the night. What I didn't expect to enjoy though, was the feeling I got every time I looked up and he was attempting to make eyes with me.

Over the next couple of weeks, every time he was in the office he would make a habit of talking to me, or if we were on air, he would swing past the window and give me a cheeky wave. Ahh the confidence of a young man learning how to flirt. It started to become fun, and I found myself looking forward to his next attempt at banter.

So the next time we were out for post-work drinks I decided why not just give it a go. What's the harm in a night of fun with a cute guy. He came back to mine and as we made out in my lounge room, I felt like a 20-year-old again. His body was strong, he had the libido of an energiser bunny and the way he looked at me made me feel special.

What I didn't expect, was to then stay up all night laughing with him, and then the whole next day in bed. I've never been a fan of the next-day linger. No breakfast for me thank you, it's time to head home!

So the fact that I was enjoying his company so much, and his fresh take on life really took me by surprise. Over the next couple of weeks I just leaned into the feeling. We went on dates, he stayed over a lot and we grew quite close.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jana Hocking 🦁 (@jana_hocking)

However, after the honeymoon glow began to fade I started noticing things relating to our age-gap that was just to hard to ignore.

His clothes would sometimes smell a little stale because like most guys in their 20s, he had a habit of leaving them to dry in the washing machine rather then hang them out. He would also get annoyed at me because we always stayed at my house, instead of his share house with a bunch of his uni housemates. Oh no, I just couldn't bear the thought of sitting at the breakfast table with a bunch of 20-year-olds on a Saturday morning.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The final blow was when a bunch of Sydney friends came to stay for the weekend. He came out with us for dinner, and as we drank wine, caught up on career moves, and shared our ambitions. I looked across the table at his poor panicked face and realised we were at completely different stages of our lives.

As I insisted he go meet up with his friends at the local nightclub after our dinner, I gently explained that we were at very different stages in our life and he should feel free to flirt with other women and let's remain great friends.

As happens when you accidentally date a 20-something-year-old, he didn't take it well and the next couple of weeks were tough! That's when I decided to tick "date a younger bloke" off my list and stick to my age or above. Far less drama, but for a while it rather tickled my fancy.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

They’re gentle. They’re seasonal. They’re soft boy cooks

22 Jun 06:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

Dealing with the Sunday scaries? Here’s how to address your anxiety

22 Jun 03:00 AM
Lifestyle

Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

21 Jun 07:00 PM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
They’re gentle. They’re seasonal. They’re soft boy cooks

They’re gentle. They’re seasonal. They’re soft boy cooks

22 Jun 06:00 AM

New York Times: These charismatic cooks are a counter to harder-edge chefs.

Premium
Dealing with the Sunday scaries? Here’s how to address your anxiety

Dealing with the Sunday scaries? Here’s how to address your anxiety

22 Jun 03:00 AM
Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

Suzy Cato on overcoming redundancy, helping children, and why she's never met her biological father

21 Jun 07:00 PM
Premium
Instagram wants Gen Z. What does Gen Z want from Instagram?

Instagram wants Gen Z. What does Gen Z want from Instagram?

21 Jun 06:00 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP