If he does this, it is a giant red flag. Photo / 123RF
There's a devilish thing some of us have been doing since the dawn of time that has the potential to get us into a lot of trouble.
For some, it's an uncontrollable habit that we often don't realise we are doing. For others, it is used as a sneaky mind game to shake up a situation. Keep a love interest on their toes, you could say.
It's a sneaky little ailment I like to call "Red Ferrari Syndrome".
Now let me explain it to you. You know when you're casually walking along the street and all of a sudden the traffic lights turn green and a gorgeous, shiny, red Ferrari drives past. You stop what you are doing and are momentarily distracted by the glory of it.
"Wow," you might think to yourself, "that's a mighty fine Ferrari that just drove past!"
Now apply that to a date. Perhaps you're sitting at a bar having a jolly good time, when suddenly a glamazon walks past. You may be midway through telling a hilarious story about the time you tripped over a chair, when suddenly your date loses eye contact, as his jaw drops to the floor and his whole body turns to watch the magnificent creature walk past.
Perhaps he may even get off the stool he is sitting on and turn towards the passing women in an extra thirsty bid to make eye contact.
That fool is suffering from "Red Ferrari Syndrome".
Now I know what you're thinking. Surely, someone wouldn't be that obvious. They would just have a quick passing glance and try to make eye contact with you again in the hope that you didn't notice the drool coming from their mouth.
Unfortunately, my recent experience with "Red Ferrari Syndrome" (shall we just call it RFS) went EXACTLY like that!
Yes, I have to say it was one of the worst cases of RFS I've seen in a long time, and I've seen many. Lord, I've even suffered from it myself.
But to literally get up off your stool and turn your whole body in a bid to connect eyes. That. Is. Bold.
Bravo for having the audacity to do it, but it's safe to say that the date was now dead in the water.
I went to the bathroom to replay what had just happened. Was I being a sensitive Sally? Did it matter that he had a look. I mean, if I was honest with myself, I could probably point out three guys in that bar that I had already rated highly. The difference is, my RFS is mild. I look but I don't try to make eye contact with them.
As this was a third date, and I'm trying this thing where I actually go on more than one date with a bloke these days (I know, shock horror!) I thought I could turn it into a LOL situation, so I returned from the loo, sat back on my stool and said half-jokingly, "You've got a bit of a wandering eye going on there, don't you." I thought perhaps we could have a bit of a giggle about his ogling but instead of addressing it, he completely ignored the statement and changed the subject.
Sigh.
I decided to check out mentally from the date, and ordered a big ol' glass of pinot noir for the road. As he walked me home he tried to hold my hand, and then went in for the kiss at my front gate, but you see, the moment was ruined. A cheeky glance I can totally understand, but the full-body, get-out-of-your-seat-and-have-a-crack-at-eye-contact situation ... well ... it really kills a vibe.
We've all been on dates or got to that comfy stage in a relationship where you can check out people together. The fact of the matter is, there really are some gorgeous specimens that walk among us, and it can be fun to spot them in the wild. Add a David Attenborough dialogue to the perve session and you've got yourself a funny bit of banter going on.
But if RFS seems to rear its head a little too often on your dates, perhaps take it for the giant red flag that it is and head off on your merry way back to the land of singledom until a milder version comes along.
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking | Jana (with a J)