So when a friend pulled me aside one afternoon to tell me she's signed up to a ridiculously naughty and fun new dating app, my first thoughts were a little dismissive. Until she told me about the adventures she had been on since signing up.
It's called Feeld and it's designed as a sex-positive app where you include in your profile what your sexual interests are, for example, threesomes or group sex or BDSM or any safe form of sexual fetish you desire.
It's a safe, judgment-free app for those who are a little more adventurous.
Now I like to think I'm no prude and perhaps it was time I explored new avenues when it came to dating, so one very boring afternoon I decided to explore my curiosity and log on to the app.
Quietly patting myself on the back for being so progressive, I started to set up my profile. It asks for your name, gender, sexuality (there are a whopping 20 to choose from – including heteroflexible and homoflexible), then you list your desires (do you like to "watch", dress up, role play etc…), hobbies, and an introduction bio.
You then upload photos of yourself, and choose whether you would like to go incognito or keep your profile visible to other members. It also allows you to pair your profile with your partner – which is handy if you are looking for a threesome.
Now I would love to say I went on to have a fabulous time, going on dates, trying new things and living boldly, but sadly, I lasted a whole hour on the app before I very quickly deleted it.
This was for a couple of reasons, firstly this was no Eyes Wide Shut sexy experience.
I came across a lot of people well outside my age range (perhaps it was because I was located outside of the city at the time?), most were not my type, and secondly, it was when I got a text from an old school friend to say they saw me on there, I may have freaked out a little.
The next day, a guy I had a crush on a few years ago started following me on Instagram. I followed him back and we started chatting in the DMs. We organised to meet for a drink the next night and I was excited to reconnect.
Halfway through our date, he worked up the courage to mention he had seen my profile on Feeld and loved that I was "experimental". Oh god.
Now the whole point of this app is to leave judgment at the door and that's one of the things I liked most about it, so I didn't want to embarrass him or I by confessing that I only lasted an hour. He told me he had a lot of success on the app and it was perfect for casual dating.
Well, I guess that's one way to find out that he's not looking for his "forever person" right now I suppose.
So while I've discovered that I'm not quite brave enough to tap into the world of that much sexual freedom right now, I certainly wouldn't discount it when I'm in a couple. Something to ponder for the future …
• Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends.
