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Home / Lifestyle

'I've fought anorexia so hard, but it's won': Devastating goodbye note from teen girl

By Paddy Dinham
Daily Mail·
3 May, 2017 09:09 AM4 mins to read

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A doctor described Pip's case as 'probably the most severe' case of anorexia nervosa she has seen. Photo / Just Giving

A doctor described Pip's case as 'probably the most severe' case of anorexia nervosa she has seen. Photo / Just Giving

The heartbreaking goodbye note from a teenager who stepped in front of a train after battling an eating disorder has been revealed.

Pippa "Pip" McManus left letters to her family saying: "I can't fight anorexia any more. I have tried so very hard, but it has won me."

As an emotional two-week inquest into her death came to a close, the jury decided that planning for her discharge from hospital was not done well enough.

They also said there was not enough communication with her family over an increased risk of suicide.

But the jury at the Stockport hearing said it was right for the Gatley 15-year-old to have been discharged from the Priory Hospital in Altrincham, Greater Manchester, where she had been receiving treatment.

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Pip had been fighting anorexia for three years before taking her final, fateful last steps at Gatley railway station in December, 2015.

Her battle with the illness started at the age of 12 when she started as a pupil at Kingsway School.

Her mother, Marie, said Pip started to become "obsessed" with looking at her side profile in the mirror and at her chin, asking if it was fat.

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Though they were concerned, Marie and Pip's father, James, did not initially think much of it.

But the teenager became obsessed with her diet and started exercising compulsively.
She joined running and boxing clubs and would survive on very little food.

Pippa McManus had received treatment at The Priory psychiatric hospital in Altrincham. Photo / Just Giving
Pippa McManus had received treatment at The Priory psychiatric hospital in Altrincham. Photo / Just Giving

Around Christmas 2012 things began "spiralling out of control" and the family sought medical advice.

She was treated by Stockport Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services and Galaxy House.

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A doctor has described Pip's case as "probably the most severe" case of anorexia nervosa she has seen, and at one point Pip weighed just 27kg.

At the age of 13 Pip was detained under the mental health act and admitted to the Priory, to receive treatment for her crippling illness.

Pippa 'Pip' McManus left letters to her family before she stepped in front of a train. Photo / McManus family
Pippa 'Pip' McManus left letters to her family before she stepped in front of a train. Photo / McManus family

During one visit home, the teenager wrote "goodbye" notes to her family, her doctors and even her beloved dog.

They read: "I do want to grow up and have a life, at the moment I don't have one. I can't fight anorexia anymore. I have tried so very hard, but it has won me."

After finding these notes, medics stopped Pip's overnight visits home for six months before they started again in August 2015.

She was due for release in November 2015 but this was delayed when it was discovered she had bound her feet in tape for two weeks, believing they were fat.

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Hidden inside a cuddly toy in her room, staff also found a pencil sharpener blade.

Pip had been at the psychiatric hospital for more than a year.

And despite concerns from her parents that her treatment had stalled, she was released under a community treatment order on December 4, 2015.

.

Pippa McManus was anorexic when she stepped out in front of a train in December 2015. Photo / Just Giving
Pippa McManus was anorexic when she stepped out in front of a train in December 2015. Photo / Just Giving

Just five days later she argued with her parents about her excessive gym use.

In an emotional outburst she yelled "I am going to kill myself now" before running from the family home in Gatley.

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She travelled to Gatley train station and stepped in front of a train.

After her tragic death James and Marie set up The Pip Foundation for ABC Anorexia & Bulimia Care.

All money donated will be used to help other people struggling with eating disorders.

In a JustGiving site to support the Foundation, her mother wrote: "My beautiful daughter Pip took her own life on December 9th 2015 when she was just 15 years old.

"The tear in the thread of our family will never be mended. Pip spent her last 3 years fighting against anorexia, malnutrition, depression and self harm.

"I do not want Pip's life and suffering to have been in vain, whenever she was able, she tried to help others suffering from similar conditions and I am hoping to continue her good work through the Pip Foundation.

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"I sincerely hope that you will donate to my chosen charity ABC in aid of those suffering from anorexia and bulimia.

"With your support, Pip will never be forgotten, her memory will live on, and her foundation will continue to help the people she tried to help while she was still alive."

HELPLINE

Where to get help:

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• Samaritans 0800 726 666
• If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

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