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Home / Lifestyle

'It's worth the journey': Rūmaki reo learners talk to Siena Yates

By Siena Yates
Canvas·
11 Sep, 2022 10:00 PM11 mins to read

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Chelsea Winstanley. Photo / Supplied

Chelsea Winstanley. Photo / Supplied

With Te Wiki o te reo Māori upon us, the year is quickly drawing to a close for students undertaking a year of learning Te Reo Māori in full immersion. Siena Yates, who is currently studying at Te Tohu Paetahi in Tauranga, talks to fellow rūmaki reo learners about the journey so far; whether it's lived up to expectations and how it's changed their lives.

Chelsea Winstanley, 46

Ngāti Ranginui, Ngai Te Rangi
Te Wananga o Takiura, Tāmaki Makaurau

EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY: I know a couple of people who have done it so I knew it would be hard, but that it's worth it. I know I'm not going to leave this year fluent, I just want to have the confidence to speak to those who I know can korero Māori, and to understand and answer back without fear — and I actually think I can get to at least part of that goal now.

WHY NOW? The desire has always been inside me to be able to korero Māori and to feel connected because I'd always felt like that was a massive missing piece of the puzzle for me. Sometimes it was about not feeling Māori enough; when you're younger you're always searching for external validation. But when you get older you settle and become a bit more whakatau in who you are and know that whakapapa is enough. I wish I'd done it sooner, but life happens when it's meant to.

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BARRIERS: Thoughts like: Am I deserving enough to do this? Am I taking up the space of someone else who should be here before me? Practical things like being able to put aside mahi and your career trajectory. But also just having safe spaces to kōrero outside of kura. We still live in a very Pākehā world and those who are creating the barriers are those that aren't willing to see the beauty in the language and those who are so fearful of something they know nothing about — that hinders everyone's learning.

LESSONS: I'm just learning to be tau about where I am right now and accepting that this is a lifelong journey so it's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to not finish this year as an expert, but to finish just knowing that I'm enough and that I've turned a corner on a journey that I've been desiring for my entire life.

ADVICE: I just want people to know how wonderful it is. There are so many wonderful things to gain for yourself and your whānau. It is hard, but just to hang in there because the gain is so much more than the pain. If you think of what the dreams of your tūpuna were, all they probably wanted was for you to stand in your mana, and that's what this journey will do for you; it will reinstate your own mana within.

Qiane Matata-Sipu, 36

Te Wai o Hua ki Te Ahiwaru me Te Ākitai, Waikato, Ngāpuhi and Ngāti Pikiao
Te Wananga o Takiura, Tāmaki Makaurau

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EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY: For starters, I thought I'd be able to fit study in around my life and still be able to do some mahi, but that hasn't been possible whatsoever! Also throughout a lot of the year, I was like 'oh my gosh I still don't know this or get this', but I've realised this is just the beginning and I'll keep adding to the kete for as long as I live.

WHY NOW? I'm a true believer that everything that's happened in my life has happened when it's happened because that's where my tūpuna put me at that time. Do I wish I had my reo sooner? Obviously. But I don't look back at 'what ifs', because I have faith that my tūpuna directed me on the path that I was meant to take.

BARRIERS: In terms of starting, I've got a mortgage and a family and bills to pay, so the biggest barrier to taking a year off to study is definitely financial. But throughout the year, my biggest barrier has probably been me; overthinking, the extra pressure and high expectations I put on myself.

LESSONS: I thought I'd do pretty well at trying to decolonise my life and whānau and indigenise our home and my mahi, but the more I unpack our tikanga and my reo journey and all the things that come with that, I realise how colonised I actually am. But that also means now I can indigenise and decolonise even further than I thought was possible.

ADVICE: 1) You don't have to do a year-long total immersion course to learn te reo Māori. A lot of people think that's the only way and it's not. Not everyone has the financial ability to do this so we need to be clear that there are so many resources available that you can use to start. 2) Speak Māori every day, no matter how broken it is or how many times you get it wrong. The more you do, the more familiar it becomes on your tongue. Whether it's Māori Language Week or just Monday, just do it.

Eru Merito. Photo / Supplied
Eru Merito. Photo / Supplied

Eru Merito, 32

Ngāti Pūkeko, Ngāti Awa, Ngāti Porou
Te Tohu Paetahi, Tauranga

EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY: At the start, I expected myself to become as fluent as I can by the end, but I know now that's probably not gonna happen and I've accepted that because, in five or 10 years' time, I might get to that level and this is a good foundation for that. So instead of trying to rush everything, I've actually become more present and able to enjoy the reo journey.

WHY NOW? Standing at the marae, doing haka or waiata, I felt fake; I couldn't string a sentence together. So I thought, if I'm gonna stand properly on the marae, I'd better start learning now. If I'd come at 18, I would've thought, 'I'm the man', I wouldn't have liked making mistakes and I would've learned less because of my ego. But now I feel like I can push the ego aside.

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BARRIERS: I learn better through kōrero; when I see a book or words on the page, that's my biggest taniwha in learning. For some reason it just doesn't stick so I need to do a lot of haratau [practice] at home. I left school at 15 — now I'm 32 but my brain is like a 15-year-old in class still. I have to learn how to cope with these kinds of systems of learning again.

LESSONS: Giving up mahi and having a bit less money, but sacrificing that in exchange for more happiness, has been a lot better for me personally in terms of being a better person, better husband, son and father… so if your passion is te reo Māori, then go and chase it and find the best version of you.

ADVICE: Make sure you get into a clear headpsace before you start so things can flow through you. And just enjoy the ride, because we're close to the end of our class now and time has flown by; so slow down, take things in and enjoy the haerenga because this is just the beginning.

Faith Hirini, 19

Ngāpuhi, Tainui
Te Tohu Paetahi, Tauranga

EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY: Because I've studied Māori prior, I knew it would be hard, and it is — especially because it's so fast-paced, but I think whatever you put into it, you get out eh? I've learned so much being here and the connections and friendships we have with our class make it a better, safer, space to learn so you're not afraid to ask for help.

WHY NOW? I came straight from school so I think it's been a lot easier for me because it's basically the same, especially in terms of the schedule. But it was intimidating — when you see adults, you assume they already know so much more than you so it's easy to feel like you're at the bottom. But now, we're all basically like whānau and you don't think of it as anyone being better than anyone else; we're just here to help each other.

BARRIERS: My own shyness; not feeling comfortable enough to speak my own tongue. It's that feeling like you can't say what you want to say because you don't feel like you're good enough or have enough knowledge or confidence, or are too scared to make mistakes. That's why I'm mostly quiet all the time. But whenever we get a [speech assignment] I work on doing a bit better than I did in the last one — just in how I present and hold myself.

LESSONS: I learned that everyone started somewhere. No one was just given the reo, we all have to start in the same way. So I have to trust the process, but I also have to work for it; I can't just expect that it's going to come to me on its own like I always just thought it would.

ADVICE: Take up every single opportunity and give it your all from the start. I feel like I didn't do that because our first assignment was our pepeha, I was like, 'oh well I already know that'. But there's always more than just what you need for each assignment and you have to work hard to get the most out of every paper. So just take it seriously, don't underestimate it and give everything a go, who cares if you make a mistake as long as you learn from it.

Pierre Henare. Photo / Supplied
Pierre Henare. Photo / Supplied

Pierre Henare, 67

Ngāti Porou,
Te Tohu Paetahi, Tauranga

EXPECTATIONS vs REALITY: I was expecting it to be hard and it really is. I have some reo but it's reo opaki — like English you hear in the streets every day but you're not going to speak like that at a formal occasion. I've spent time on the paepae already and when I go home again, no doubt there will be an expectation that I go back on, so I needed to come and tidy up my reo. This is my first time learning the proper sentence structures and grammar; that's where I make a lot of my mistakes. It scares the sh*t out of me. Truly. But if I don't learn what I'm doing wrong, I can't fix it.

WHY NOW? It's just taken me a while to shed other mahi to a point where I could take this on — I'm technically retired now, but I'm probably busier now than I was when I was working! Of course, doing it earlier would've been great and a lot easier, but do I have regrets? Nah. I know I'm 67, but I prefer looking forward and if you haven't got any challenges left in front of you, what's the point? My wife, children, and mokos all kōrero Māori, so it's my turn now.

BARRIERS: My biggest barrier is just unlearning all the bad habits and the structures that I've picked up that were very loose; you can get away with it, but it's not right.

LESSONS: I've learned just how much I didn't know! I knew it would be hard but I'm finding it really hard. I struggle every day. It's just frustrating the hell out of me. But I know that once I get it, with what I have already, everything will just start dropping into place. So in the meantime, I've just got to work hard.

ADVICE: Just remember: It's worth the journey. It's like a part of your mauri; it's yours to go and get and if you don't, you'll always know that it's missing. If you're struggling, you've just gotta keep on going and you know, you're never too old to look at things differently or ask, 'how does somebody else learn?'.

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