Somatic sexologist Morgan Penn is the host of the NZME podcast, Sex.Life. Photo / Supplied
Somatic sexologist Morgan Penn is the host of the NZME podcast, Sex.Life. Photo / Supplied
Welcome to the second season of the Herald’s dating podcast: It’s A Date. Join Herald dating columnist Lillie Rohan as she takes notable Kiwis on a fantasy date, finding out about their relationships and love lives along the way.
Warning: This article contains sexual references and is intended foradults.
OPINION:
There are a few misconceptions about sex: the pull-out method is 100 per cent effective and you can’t get pregnant while on your period. Somatic sexologist Morgan Penn’s least favourite one may be the biggest misconception of all.
It’s what she calls “societal conditioning” and believes it needs to end because the reality is that sex is so much more than a big O. So, what is sex? What does it include? And when does foreplay really start?
The media personality sits down with It’s A Date podcast host Lillie Rohan to share all the answers, as well as a few other important insights into the world of intimacy, sex and love.
Healing heartbreak
Most people will experience heartbreak in their lives; whether it’s because of romantic or platonic love, experiencing heartbreak is a sign you’ve experienced love. It’s a good thing, until it hurts. Penn says working through heartbreak is all about identifying your needs and tending to them.
“Do whatever you need to do that’s gonna make you feel good,” she says. Especially in breakups, we can get caught in a loop of believing things that aren’t necessarily true. Another way to help heal the heartbreak is with touch.
“Find a really good friend. You know, someone who you can just tell exactly how you’re feeling to let them hold you. Ask them for physical touch, because I think after breakups, you really crave touch from people.”
The power of masculinity
Penn has spent the past few years learning and teaching the importance of love, sex and intimacy so when she says she has an opinion that may be “controversial” it provokes a very important discussion.
“This is kind of controversial,” she says, “but I do feel like men are almost afraid to be in their power.
“You know, as women are kind of uprising and all this bad behaviour that’s been going on for so long has now been called out and it’s like it’s not cool now for men to be masculine and rough and rugged and it’s like we actually need men like that.
“In this generation, it’s lacking.”
Sex.Life features Morgan Penn and Hayley Sproull. Photo / NZME
The secret to good sex
Despite being relatively new to the world of somatic sexology, Penn has seen many clients, has learnt many secrets and one we may not always consider is that sex needs roles.
“When it comes to sex, we need polarity,” she says. “So we can’t have two people kind of in their feminine, drippy, you know, that kind of like fluid floaty. We need one person to kind of take the lead and take charge.”
By this she doesn’t mean a man takes charge. It can be any gender, “but there has to be a different kind of energy that comes in”.
For more from Morgan Penn and the power of feminity, masculinity and all things relating to healthy intimacy, listen to the full episode of It’s a Date.
