Roll out the tux and dryclean the red carpet - it's time to present my annual "Best Of" awards.
This is a popular segment of the paper which is probably why I am asked to do it, although just between you and me, I don't get paid any extra.
Before
I present the results I would like to thank all those businesses that took part. Not everybody can win, obviously, and the standard was extremely high, so there is no need for those who open the paper and realise they are not winners to feel ashamed in any way.
I realise these awards can make or break many businesses and I want to assure you that is a responsibility we don't take lightly. Only last year, an antique store on Manukau Rd was forced to close because our judges commented that his operation was behind the times.
Just a bit of admin before we get started. The judges' decisions, as always, are final, and we will not go into long-winded discussions over the results like we did last year with a number of suburban shoe outlets. Petty arguments about the exact definition of a) "suburban" and b) "shoe" were not productive or in the spirit of the competition. Our categories are quite clear.
We have also introduced a couple of new categories, which has meant a couple of others have had to be dropped - specifically, "best emergency glazier" has been axed in favour of "best drive-through colonic irrigation clinic", and "best health foods store" has been dropped to make way for "most conveniently located KFC".
Some background on the new judges. As well as myself we have introduced to the judging panel Lyn Grey, who brings seven years' experience to the "Best of the Best awards". In the past 10 years she has had three job interviews at Metro magazine, once getting down to the final two applicants.
She is joined by Tony Roger who was controversially banned from the New Zealand Wine awards last year for blending and bottling all the wine spat out by the tasters, then releasing it under his own label of Spitoon Ridge. Tony, an event centre cleaner, was quite transparent about the fact he only used the award-winning wines in his blends.
By default, Tony's wine amassed 65 gold medals and numerous international awards but many in the industry took issue with him blatantly advertising the fact. Tony brings to the team valuable experience in the awards industry and 46 cases of Spitoon Ridge, to be offered as prizes for various competitions I will be running leading up to Christmas.
Best kebab shop: This was extremely tough this year with many new kebaberies entering the already competitive kebab market. Many kebab stores have had to adapt, including last year's winner, Eden Kebabs on Dominion Rd. The team has totally refurbished the kebabery, giving top restaurant Merediths, located just up the road, a run for its money as far as decor and atmosphere goes.
Having said that, they haven't forgotten where they have come from and tried to compete with Merediths' finer dining menu. As a top kebabery, they have wisely stuck to doing what they do best and that is making kebabs, mainly lamb and chicken to be specific.
Their choice of sauces is still the most complete in the North Island and their customer care is second to none. When you ring up Eden Kebabs you really get the impression you are talking to a real person, and somebody who is actually standing in the kebab shop on Dominion Rd, as opposed to some call centre over in Asia.
Try one of their kebabs, and tell them I sent you!
For a complete list of other winners and losers, email the Herald on Sunday and somebody might be able to dig one up for you.
Opinion
Roll out the tux and dryclean the red carpet - it's time to present my annual "Best Of" awards.
This is a popular segment of the paper which is probably why I am asked to do it, although just between you and me, I don't get paid any extra.
Before
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