The former PM and his new bride-to-be share their romantic engagement – and their kids’ plans for the wedding. Photo / Hagen Hopkins
When Labour Party leader Chris Hipkins began planning his partner Toni Grace’s 40th birthday celebrations, he was determined to make sure it was a day to be remembered.
Alongside a romantic lunch, a spa afternoon, a family dinner and a party, there was one surprise Toni didn’t see coming – Chris had chosen her milestone as the perfect moment to pop the question.
“I was thinking about what to get her for her birthday and it needed to be something significant – it needed to mean something,” tells Chris, 47, catching up with Woman’s Day alongside the woman he loves at home in Upper Hutt. “So I thought, ‘Well, nothing’s going to mean much more than this.’”
The couple, who has a blended family of four kids between them, is still buzzing over the engagement, which happened on November 13 in grey and blustery Wellington. While the couple knew they wanted to spend their lives together, they hadn’t spoken much about marriage, so Chris’ proposal on Toni’s 40th came as a huge surprise.
“I had absolutely no idea it was coming,” says Toni, who has an impressive background in sustainable development and international policy.
The morning began with Chris’ first gift – a beautiful silver fern necklace and earring set. The couple also had plans for a special lunch at local wine bar Boulcott Street Bistro, but the Leader of the Opposition first suggested a walk through the Wellington Botanic Garden, a place they both love and where our photoshoot takes place.
“We had a lovely walk around the gardens, then at one point, we stopped at one of the little park benches dotted around,” recalls Toni. “He started saying something very sweet about how much I’d packed into my first 40 years and how proud I should be of everything I’ve achieved. Then he said he was really looking forward to spending the next 40 with me.”
Chris then reached into his bag and produced a beautiful diamond ring that he’d chosen several months earlier, asking Toni to marry him. Through tears, she replied with a resounding yes.
“There were tears from both of us,” shares Chris, who had earlier enlisted his colleagues’ help to safely stash the ring in his Parliament office.
His new fiancee holds up her hand to show off the stunning cluster of three pear-shaped diamonds.
“It’s perfect – he picked so well,” grins Toni, who admits she’s a no-fuss, no-frills kind of girl. “I don’t like spending a lot of money on things, so I told him not to tell me how much it cost!”
Now engaged, Chris and Toni are simply thrilled to have made an official commitment to each other. While marriage might feel old-fashioned to some, for them, it feels deeply meaningful – both as a couple and for their kids.
“Since we got together, I’ve never really doubted we’ll be together forever,” explains Chris. “Formalising that commitment is a chance to express what we mean to each other and to allow the people we care about to be part of that too.”
The couple first met more than 15 years ago, when Toni was an intern at Parliament and Chris was a brand-new MP, though their careers took them in different directions in the decade that followed.
Their new love story began in 2023, when Chris was Prime Minister. The pair, who had both gone through separations, reconnected online and their chats slowly became more regular. And before they knew it, they were talking every day, meeting up whenever they could, and finding they were turning to each other for support and companionship.
Last year, Toni – who has Master’s degrees in sustainability and political science – moved in full-time with Chris and since then, the couple hasn’t looked back, saying they’re grateful to have found each other.
“My life feels very complete with Toni in it,” reveals Chris. “It’s a beautiful thing to be excited about coming home at the end of every day – to have someone you want to talk to about everything that’s happened, as well as to go through life’s ups and downs with. That’s a pretty special thing and I want to do that forever with Toni.”
Accomplished in her own right, Toni recently stepped away from her role at the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment to plan her next move, while focusing on her work as a trustee for Kaibosh Food Rescue, as well as supporting Chris and the family in the upcoming election year.
She and her new fiance are not only united in their political beliefs and desire to make the world a better place, but they also simply love spending time together. Reconnecting later in life has been a blessing, says Toni.
“We’ve known each other a long time and always had a lot in common, but navigating post-separation life, managing kids and careers, and trying to balance it all is really tricky,” she admits. “Having someone who’s been through it too – someone you can lean on – is really lovely.”
Of course, blending two families hasn’t been without its juggles and trials, but they share there’s no greater joy than seeing their kids, who range from primary-school age to their teens, enjoy each other’s company.
Tells Toni, “The scheduling and the dynamics can be challenging, but it’s all absolutely worth it when you see the evolving, loving family ecosystem you end up having.”
Life is hectic with Chris’ demanding political role – and this year will be more so with the election looming – but the pair says home is their sanctuary, where they are able to live simply and authentically. Toni adds she’s amazed by Chris’ capacity to carry out his job while still being a committed dad and also a partner.
“He’s incredibly caring, and he always makes me feel very loved and appreciated,” she reveals. “He gets up early day in and day out, works really hard and has the world on his shoulders, but he can still put all that down to be there for me and the kids at home.”
Chris is also grateful that Toni is happy to do, as he puts it with a laugh, “things like this” – meaning the Woman’s Day shoot and interview. While the couple is protective of their kids, Toni’s prepared to step into the spotlight to support Chris, even if it’s slightly outside her comfort zone. Public scrutiny is something she’s still getting used to, she admits.
“I’ve made the mistake of reading the comments at times,” she grimaces. “I don’t do that any more! We just focus on living our best life.”
Ensuring their home is a sanctuary, where they can simply be themselves and do the things that make them happy, is vital.
Chris explains, “We have things we can come back to that make us feel kind of centred and happy. The rest is just noise, really.”
In their downtime, they love nothing more than pottering about in the garden, cooking and playing with the kids.
“If you come here on the weekends, you’ll find us in shorts or track pants, doing jobs around the house or the garden – pretty much what every other family does,” tells Chris, who’s a keen gardener.
“This summer, we’ve planted a lot of pick-and-eat food because the kids get excited about that. There are sugar snap peas, cherry tomatoes, strawberries and other things that they can snack on straight from the garden. Then there are lots of herbs right at the back door, so we can easily grab them when we’re cooking.”
Toni shares, “We’re both quite grounded and happy to be our authentic selves, even if that means rocking around in pre-loved clothing.”
With 2026 gearing up to be a busy election year, it’s no surprise that wedding plans are on hold for now. There’s a campaign to focus on first – although their four kids clearly have other ideas. Delighted by the engagement, the children have already begun taking matters into their own hands.
“They’re making plans for us already,” laughs Chris. “They’re picking out outfits and getting a bit ahead of themselves, but that’s all right. It’s actually really lovely to see how excited they are.”
For Chris, that enthusiasm mirrors what he treasures most about his blossoming relationship with Toni.
“The effortlessness of what we have is so incredibly special,” he shares. “We connect on every level without even really trying. Every day is just amazing.”