In the bonds of love we meet?

There've been far too many shafts of strife and war since Hinewehi Mohi made our praises heard afar - at Twickenham, in Maori - writes RUSSELL BAILIIE.

Hello, Ugly New Zealander. Thought you'd disappeared for a while, what with rugby lurching into the professional era. But then again, I haven't visited the Talkback Nation much of late, only after hiring everyone's favourite firm, Grumpy Bloke Taxis.

I see you've been busy with a spot of music criticism. Oh, and even a bit of recording. **** Them All, huh? Terrific, just what we needed, the beginnings of Foreskins Lament - The Musical.

Yep, that'll show the English with their Sweet Chariot, the Aussies with their Waltzing Matilda, or the Welsh and their hymns which, it seems, the entire country sings loudly and tunefully. Even without the vowels. Even when they're losing.

So, you didn't like the national anthem being sung in Maori the other morning before that all-important rugger game? Bet you wouldn't be complaining if it had been "our Kiri" singing it in Maori rather than Hinewehi Mohi. No, all right, you might.

But here's a line from the English version you may wish to contemplate: "Hear our voices, we entreat ... "

It's the plural "voices" that gets me. In case you hadn't noticed, we don't all have the same one and that is what some of us like about the place.

Even if it does come with a dirge of a national song, which asks a God, with whom the majority of us aren't on speaking - let alone singing - terms, to defend our free land.

No, Thomas Bracken didn't think to use the words "English-speaking" (or for that matter "tolerant") when he penned GDNZ's progressively lyrically awful five verses in the early 1870s.

But here's how verse two starts: "Men of every creed and race/gather here before thy face ... "

Or in the Maori version: "Ona mano tangata/Kiri Whero, kiri ma ... "

See, it even rhymes better in Maori, even if the tune is just as mournful.

And here's a theory: the haka became a pre-game All Black tradition to wake up the players after the mind-deadening effects of that song.

When given to patriotic fervour, I can recite the words of Kamate Kamate. It's the only bit of poetry - and isn't it sheer poetry in motion? - I've ever committed to memory.

I'm thinking GDNZ, verse one, the Maori version might be the next bit.

Especially if we meet South Africa in the final and they come out swinging with the multilingual Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika/Die Stem - a song which embraces that country's sorry history and future hopes in one song. Now there's an anthem worth standing up for.

As for you Ugly New Zealander, God had better defend your New Zealand with its dreary olde English hymn.

My New Zealand has better songs to sing and you don't have to understand the words to enjoy them.