Clearly, we are all aching for a new condition to latch on to – but can the perpetually late really claim they have a time disability? And can we therefore expect employers to smile benevolently when we stroll into work at 11am and friends to shrug when we arrive for dinner after the starter?
“I don’t think ‘time-blind’ people should necessarily get special treatment,” says Sheri Jacobson, a retired psychologist who founded Harley Street Therapy, “but I do think there are a number of innate reasons why people fall into a pattern of being late – and it’s not always easy to break.”
Jacobson says one of the first factors is our childhood – whether we grew up with someone who was late or punctual and whether we tried to mimic that parent’s behaviour or rebel against it. “The things we have picked up on from home, and other aspects of the environment we grew up in, like our education and peers, have a huge impact on how we act in later life,” she says.
Then, once we have got into the habit of acting in a certain way, we tend to do it long-term. “Humans love to repeat their own behaviour as it requires minimal brain energy,” says Jacobson. “If we are often late, we will likely continue to be unless we make a really conscious effort to change it.”
Another reason for lateness, conversely, is optimism. I am a relatively positive person and I think that is why, if I am meeting someone around the corner from my office for lunch at 1pm, I stand up from my desk at 1pm. I don’t factor in the colleague who delays me with a query or the red man at the lights in the same way I don’t factor in traffic, train strikes or rain delays. My husband, by contrast, consistently imagines mile-long tailbacks or broken-down Tubes, and is always on time.
One Washington University study suggests time-blindness might be genetic. In it, people were asked to complete a task by a certain hour; those who were chronically late were far less likely to naturally look at the clock and therefore accidentally run over than those who considered themselves punctual.
Equally, the reluctance to change gear and end one activity to start another can also be inbuilt. Jacobson argues that people who are more likely to fall into a flow state – where you are completely focused on one task – be it a run or even just reading a book – are more likely to be late.
The punctual, no doubt, find all this absurd – and I do agree that if you know how to arrive somewhere at an allotted hour, you must find it perplexing that somebody else cannot (and assume that said person is treating your time like it is less valuable than theirs).
And yes, there must be an element of selfishness to it, as while I have been late to countless coffee meetings, I have always managed to arrive on time for job interviews and I’ve never actually missed a flight.
But I do feel like I should apologise – to all the friends who waited alone in restaurants while I scrambled up Tube steps three at a time, to all the boyfriends who missed the first five minutes of a really good film, and to all the tourists who I barged out of the way on the street: it wasn’t actually your fault for walking too slowly, it was mine for being cursed with time-blindness.
How to be on time – according to a psychologist
By Sheri Jacobson
- Work out what time you would usually leave and decide to be out the door 10 minutes (or 20 or 30 depending on how late you usually are) before that.
- Set a timer for an hour before you want to leave, and then 30 minutes, and then 15 minutes so your brain gets used to the idea you’re going out soon.
- If you arrive early rather than on time, see what that feels like, as you are probably rarely in this position. Perhaps bring a book to read or some work to do.
- Changing a habit causes distress – so try to make this feel positive by giving yourself a small reward each time you are punctual.
- Don’t forget that to permanently change behaviour you need to be really consistent for months – so don’t revert back to your old ways too soon.
